Leave Me
by Heyren
Summary: Do not go where the path is led, go where there is none and leave a trail instead.
1. Prologue

Fox picked up his pen in the dead of night, a glass of whiskey his only companion in the long hours of nothingness which he endured.

 _Dear Krystal,_ he wrote.

 _I'm sorry. Sorry that I didn't listen to you. Sorry that I hurt you._

 _You've given me so much...friendship and love and affection. And all I've given in return was pain. I took away your family and your friends. I'm no better than Andross himself. I wish you had never even met someone like me._

He glanced at the jeweled staff on his right, the one she left on the Great Fox the day he forced her to leave.

 _I'm trying to arrange for your staff to get back to you. It's not much, but I hope I can do just one thing right for you before I'm gone._ _After that, please forget me. Find someone else who can love you the way you used to love me._

 _Goodbye, Krystal._

 _Love,  
_ _Fox_ _  
_

After he finished signing off on the parchment, Fox took a blank stare into space, trying to reminisce about all the good times he's had. But, there were none. All he could remember, and all he could ever remember, was that fateful day he made the worst decision of his life. He loved her, and yet he kicked her off the team. Why? To protect her? To keep her safe? If he had told her any semblance of the truth, then she would refuse to leave. And he would rather die than let her get hurt.

Ever since, he's been devising ways to get her back, to no avail, and he had nobody to blame but himself. To him, there was no point in staying in this situation any longer. He had fulfilled his father's duty and his own vengeance, and he had no desire to live in a system in which his legacy would live on. His last plan, fortunately, was to leave the system itself.

He packed the letter into an envelope on his desk, and scribbled "To: Krystal" haphazardly on it, hoping that it would be enough to reach her someday.

Not that it would ever matter.

Not where he was going.

* * *

Some of you may know me from my reviews. Long story short, I've decided to start writing. I'm a bit new at this, so I'm just going to start real slow with this story idea that I've had for a while now.

Leave a review if you can, and I'll definitely try to update promptly!


	2. A Change of Heart

General Peppy Hare woke up in daze at his desk. It's been exactly one year since he's overtaken General Pepper as the new head of the Cornerian Defense Forces. For many, Peppy's authority was not meant to be taken lightly. Aside from the Star Fox team of course, some consider him to be Corneria's last saving grace, a resolute leader who has lead his people through thick and thin.

For the hare though, it just meant stacks of documentation, loads of meetings, and of course, many a sleepless night. Corneria was still undergoing major reconstruction following both the Anglar and the Aparoid wars, and the amount of paperwork that he's had to approve and review just recently has made his life just a little bit less than hellish.

 _Well. Back to the old grind._

As Peppy yawned and stretched, he immediately checked his communicator for any incoming transmissions that might have occurred over the course of the night. He chanced a gaze at his calendar, marking down the multitude of meetings that he would have to attend today, before realizing that today was the seventh day since Fox has last returned contact.

 _He's supposed to be on call for us! Where the hell is he?_

Being Corneria's last line of defense subjected the Star Fox team to a strict scrutiny from the Cornerian government. In the past, even though Fox and his team had exclusively picked the side of justice, this apparently meant nothing to the higher ups. Luckily, Star Fox had no intention in becoming entangled in the webs of the bureaucracy. However, the Cornerian government's surveillance was not by any means unexpected or unwarranted. They were, after all, mercenaries who could turn the tides of battle in order to make a quick buck.

Fox was Corneria's poster child, and he was a great, if not their greatest, asset. So, it was also not unwarranted for them to ask of Fox to keep up public appearances, to show that he is still actively supporting Corneria's efforts, something that he has not done for quite some time now much to Peppy's dismay.

 _I'm going to be pissed if I get another write-up for this._

For the next few hours, Peppy devoted all his resources into finding McCloud. He took efforts to send transmissions and urgent messages to both the Great Fox as well as Fox's personal communicator. Neither of them yielded any significant results. He sent out alerts to his military contacts on several planets, including those on Macbeth, Aquas, and Katina, none of which were too happy to hear that Fox was missing. Peppy even sent a couple of his promising pilots out to the Great Fox to contact Fox in person.

To add insult to injury, he was notified by his messengers on their return trip that Fox didn't appear to be located on the Great Fox anymore.

 _How could be so selfish? He knows he has responsibilities to uphold!_

As if on cue, Peppy immediately received a pre-recorded message from Fox himself, which he spent no time in opening.

As he watched, he noticed that the vulpine looked like a mess. The demeanor he gave off was simply hopeless. The normally confident, stoic leader of the Star Fox team seemed depressed and dejected, and not only that, it seemed that he had spent no time in maintaining his own health, never mind his appearance. His fur was matted and tangled, and the black bags under his eyes conveyed that he hadn't slept in weeks.

Fox hesitated a moment before he began to speak.

"Hi Peppy. If you're watching this, then I am gone. I'm sorry. I never thought I would be saying this, but I just don't think Corneria, or the rest of Lylat is enough for me anymore. My situation is miserable, and it has been for a long, long time."

"Not a day goes by where I don't think of all the great times we've all had. You, me, Falco and Slippy, and Krystal..." He paused for a second, before continuing. "But now, I think I need to figure things out for myself. I'm sorry that I've waited before I've told you. I've had these thoughts for a while now, and I don't want you to worry about me. I know that you're going to try to encourage me to stay, but this if for the best. I'm leaving, and I'm going to ask that you don't follow me okay?"

Fox put on a sad smile. "I just wanted to say thank you before I go. Thanks for all the support you've given me, and thanks for being my father growing up."

With a tear in his eye, he bowed his head and said, "I love you Peppy... and I'm gonna miss you. Goodbye." End transmission.

Peppy was speechless. Everything that was weighing down upon him for the last few years had suddenly come crashing down on the spot. The death of his wife. His detached relationship with his daughter. And now this.

He stifled a sob as he broke down, getting lost in his thoughts.

 _I'm sorry Fox. I should have been there for you._

* * *

 _On the barren, desolate wasteland of Venom, James and Peppy's Arwings were struggling to escape the swarm of Venomian fighters on their tail. They've tried every evasive maneuver in the book, but it was all in vain. There was just too many of them. A stray hit now could knock either one of them out of the sky, and they each only had enough fuel to make it back to Corneria in one piece. Any further stress on their systems could kill them, one way or another._

 _Stray laser blasts grazed their vehicles as they shouted to each other over the comms._

 _"James! There's too many of these guys! How do we get out of this?!"_

 _James hesitated a moment, his face contorted with deep thoughts. Peppy knew better than to interrupt him, but even he knew whatever idea his teammate had to save their hides was a long shot at best. After what seemed like hours of frantic maneuvering, James finally spoke._

 _"Peppy...you better listen to me carefully because I'm only saying this once. I'm gonna turn back. Somebody's gotta tell command what's going on, so I'll distract them long enough for you to escape."_

 _"Don't fuck with me James. There's no way I'm leaving without you!"_

 _"Peppy... I need you to promise me something."_

 _The hare furrowed his brow. "What are you-"_

 _"Please take care of Fox for me. Be there for him because I couldn't. Please...tell my son that I love him."_

 _Before Peppy had a single chance to respond, James made a U-turn straight for the incoming fighters, his finger on the trigger to send a nova bomb._

 _As Peppy sped away from the scene, he heard remnants of an explosion far back in the distance, the vibrations from the sonic booms causing his vehicle to shake. Then, it was quiet. He gazed at his surroundings, noticing that the laser fire had halted, but he saw nothing. Nothing but the blood red canyons of Venom._

 _Peppy grit his teeth. "Damn it James...why did you have to be so selfless?"_

 _Although he knew what James did was for the greater good, that didn't make him feel like anything less of a coward. He wanted to mourn, but now was not the time for mourning. He had already come this far, and there was no going back now._

 _"I promise."_

* * *

Peppy knew that it had been a while since Star Fox had disbanded. Falco was always a free spirit, coming and going as he pleased, and Slippy had a family now. And after what happened to Krystal... she must have been long gone. All that was left... was Fox. Fox, and a big, empty, ship.

 _How could I have been so blind when he needed me most..?_

After the Anglar War, he was so despondent and indifferent, and the number of jobs dropped as a result. With nobody to help him...

 _I can't even imagine what he must be feeling right now._

Peppy was struggling, but he knew what he had to do. He wouldn't turn his back on family. Not again.

Having a title of General came with a lot of authority, but it also came with a lot of red tape. He was entrusted to keep the Cornerian military under a tight control by his command. But, the hare wasn't about to let a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit get between he and his family. Not when he had a promise to keep. _  
_

 _Fox, I'm not sure where you are right now, but I'm coming to help you._


	3. Breadcrumbs

"You want us to do WHAT?"

The old hare groaned in exasperation. "I've already told you a million times. Find Fox! He's out there somewhere, and we need to find him!"

The blue avian laid back in Peppy's chair. "I cannot believe you actually called me down here for this. I have much better things to do than to spend my time saving my oh-so-precious, fearless _ex_ -team leader," he sarcastically responded while staring at the ceiling. "So explain to me again why I need to do this?"

"Cause he needs us!"

Falco shifted his gaze down towards his left, spying a certain annoying green toad. He squinted his eyes.

"I'm sick of hanging around his sad, mopey self. I've already treated him to a bunch of drinks and offered to take him out to have some fun but he always turns me down. He just wants to sit around by himself." Falco rolled his eyes.

"AND," he reiterated, "I think we all know why."

Slippy fought back. "You know, Fox has always been there for us. But now when he needs us most, you can't return the favor. You know what? You're just a selfish, lazy, prick." The toad turned his back, giving a very audible _hmph._

"It's not my fault he got rid of blue! If you ask me, I woulda told him to take a hike!"

Without missing a beat, Slippy responded, "Like you haven't made your fair share of mistakes. How come whenever you and Katt get back together, you can never stay together for long?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID."

"Can you all shut your loud mouths for one second? I cannot believe I used to work with you two."

Peppy sighed, rubbing his forehead with the palms of his hand. "The mission is simple. I'm not even asking for much. Just please do some investigation for each sector in Lylat, and report to me whether you find any traces of Fox." Peppy looked out his window, but both Falco and Slippy could see the hare's hopeful eyes through the window's reflection. "I know it's been a while since we've worked together anyway. That's why I'm willing to pay you for your efforts, under some guise that you're doing some real surveillance work."

The hare took a piercing glance at Falco. "Not that you should ever use money as an incentive to help your family anyways."

"Alright alright stop old man, I can only take so much guilt." The avian shrunk in his seat. "I'll fuckin help," he grumbled.

Slippy chimed in as well. "Me too. Fox has been through a lot for me, so I think now would be the time to return the favor."

Peppy saluted them. "Well, it's settled then. Good luck you two. Report to me before the week ends."

The two crew members each nodded and left without saying another word.

* * *

 **"He's not on Katina."**

Other than the recognizable voice messages left by a certain avian and amphibian, Peppy's office was dead silent. Over the course of the week, the old hare waited patiently for Slippy and Falco to respond, but time was at a stand-still. Every second felt like a minute, and every minute an hour. Every once in a while, one of them would chime in, and Peppy hoped and prayed that there would be one, just one piece of evidence that Fox was alive, just wandering around the system.

 _All this time spent sitting here and waiting. God, just let me do something, anything!_

All of his military contacts have been just as useless as ever, and having to hear another "high ranking" official give him a negative on Fox's whereabouts would just add insult to injury. "I'm truly sorry General Hare," he recalled, "but there aren't any reports of an Arwing landing at any of our planet's docking stations." Every time he heard another statement like that, the pit in his stomach would grow and grow, creating more anxiety and shame than ever before.

 _Besides...what would we even do if we found him? I can't just force him to stay!_

For all the hare knew, the vulpine could just be doing some soul searching. Figuring out who he is.

 _Everything could really just be fine. Right?_

Any moment now, Fox could just come sauntering in, like nothing ever happened. He would pick up a beer, lay back in a chair, and start a conversation, just like in the good old days. Peppy sighed. Just like in the good old days. A time of glory and friendship instead of the wretched existence that the hare felt at the moment. Before being lost in his thoughts again, the hare heard an electronic squawk bring him back to reality.

 **"It's a no-go on Macbeth."**

 _Am I... being selfish for trying to find him?_ **  
**  
"It's not my business to keep him around! He's a grown man!" he yelled. But no matter how much the hare struggled to ignore his thoughts, they would always come back, worse than before.

 _You know what you saw! It almost looked like he was going to actually-_

No. He didn't want to think about that. Not now, or ever.

Right now he didn't need to focus on anything except the task at hand. Find Fox. Then worry later. There's going to be a lot more time for that, but if he doesn't find Fox soon, it seems that there wont be anything to worry about.

 _Just one more week of this. Just one more week, and then I'll know for sure._

* * *

 _One week later..._

Slippy whispered into his communicator, **"No signs of him on Solar. That's the last planet in Lylat."**

Unfortunately, the toad didn't expect the response he was given, or even from the right person. "Why the fuck would you search on Solar? Who the hell would wanna go there?"

Slippy rolled his eyes. In retrospect, Falco was right. There are barely any signs of life on Solar, and it was barely habitable by anyone except for dedicated research teams. But, the was getting just a little bit too annoyed with the bird to give up a witty response. "I don't know Falco! Maybe Fox likes the heat? He is from Papetoon after all." The toad smirked.

Falco just shook his head and sighed.

"I'm not even going to argue with you on that. I'm SO done with this."

Slippy frowned as he left a voice message. **"Peppy, me and Falco are gonna go back to the Great Fox to see if we can find anything. We'll meet up with you later."**

For a time, the comms were silent. But, it didn't take long before a certain falcon started running his big mouth again. "God all this shit sucks. It feels like a week long road trip to hell. Why doesn't he just suck it up?"

Slippy scoffed, but Falco continued. "You know, this is life. One day, you're born, and the next day, you're dead. Life fuckin sucks, and seriously all he has to do is quit being a little bitch."

"Look. Will you just grow up?" Slippy's comment caught Falco so off guard, that he could hear the avian breathe in to speak, but nothing came out.

"You should know better than anyone that life sucks, but that should give you an even better reason to help. Don't you remember? He gave you a home and a family, and he never held it against you when you left. Now, we've all left him behind."

"Slippy, I-"

"But you know what the worst part is?"

Falco was silent.

"He still probably thinks that it's his fault."

It usually wasn't hard for Falco to say whatever was on his mind, but for once he could barely speak. It looked like it was going to be a trip to hell after all. For him.

* * *

Falco docked his ship into the Great Fox's hangar before he found his friend, taking in the familiar surroundings of the ship. Before he left his ship, he took a deep sigh. It was a long ride back to the Great Fox, but that was a lot of time to be lost in his thoughts.

Falco was many things. He was a hotshot and cocky as all hell. He _thought_ he was loyal and reliable. But of all the things Falco had thought of himself, he definitely didn't think that "untrustworthy" would be one of them. Back when he left the team of his own volition, he hadn't even considered that he was leaving his friends behind. He thought that he was doing them a service. After all, one less crew member meant one less paycheck.

 _But I guess it wasn't that way after all_.

Falco climbed out of his ship and landed on the floor of the hangar, his boots making a loud clank as it hit the ground, but it seemed that his teammate didn't bother to notice.

 _He's giving me the cold shoulder._

Falco hesitated for a while before he tapped Slippy on the shoulder. "Hey uhhhh Slippy... You mind taking a walk around the ship with me? Talk about old memories and all that jazz?" He smiled sheepishly.

 _This... is really awkward..._

The toad gave a very confused look. "Sure... We can just look for clues about Fox along the way. "

The two team members started to take a look around throughout the ship. "So," Slippy responded, "what did you want to talk about again?"

Falco stammered, "Uhhh... you know, the good old days? Remember that time we hit up those Katinian bars on your 21st?"

"No... I don't remember anything after you got me wasted..."

Falco laughed. "Well, you gotta share the love you know? What kind of friend would I be if I didn't get a buddy wasted on his 21st? And you're a good friend of mine."

Slippy's apathetic expression suddenly morphed into a grimace. "Can... can we just focus on finding clues? Thanks."

 _Today, is going to be a long, long day._

Before long, the two teammates stopped outside of a metallic door with a palm scanner on the side. This was Fox's office on the ship. They both nodded to each other before Slippy placed his fins on the device.

The door slip open with a _whoosh_ before revealing what looked to be a crime scene. The office looked just as unkempt as ever. There were used shot glasses lying amongst the various shelves and countertops of the office, and there were papers strewn about the entire room. Certain photos were missing from the picture frames, and there were shards of glass on the ground.

"I don't remember Fox's work space ever being this messy. In fact, I don't remember him being messy at all," Falco blurted. Slippy simply nodded and began rummaging through the office desk.

Minutes went by before it became an hour, then two. Most of the papers were leftovers from expense reports from the petty jobs that the team took on to stay afloat in cash, the latest of which probably marked the end of Star Fox. Although it didn't show, despite that Falco strived to live in the present, even he missed the good old days. The days of yelling at Slippy for being a fuck-up and getting lectured by an old man on how to fly his own plane, but it seems that Fox was missing from most of his memories. Sure, he was a great guy and all, but it seemed at times that he was a little bit too professional. His flying skills though... you couldn't argue about them at all.

Falco took a deep breath before he decided to speak. "Hey Slippy, you know what? I thought a lot about what you said when we were still flying around. And, I hate to admit it, but you're absolutely right. I am a prick. I'm sorry okay?"

Slippy rolled his eyes. "I don't see what that has to do with anything-"

"BUT," he continued, "I'm not gonna let that stop me from doing something about it. I'm really glad that you've decided to call me out. I think it's really time that I returned the favor."

Slippy stood up from his hunched position before meeting Falco's gaze with his own.

"Now, I may not be able to help Fox myself, since I'm not all about that sentimental shit, but I think I know somebody who can."

He grasped the familiar looking staff, staring at it intently before he finally spoke into his communicator.

 **"Peppy, I think it's time to find Blue."**

* * *

Sorry about the wait guys. Work has been a little bit much for me lately, but I'm glad I can get out just a little bit more exposition on what might happen next for the story.

Also, I'm still trying to get the hang of writing here! If you could leave a review, whether it be strictly about the story or about my writing in particular, it would be greatly appreciated. Hopefully I can put out the next chapter fairly quickly.

Thanks for reading.


	4. Don't Let Go

A tinge of embarrassment lingered in Krystal's mind as stared into space. She laid quietly on her side as she was cradled in the arms of her lover, her heart and mind racing as she shivered with anticipation.

Once, when Krystal was just a kit, her mother had said that only soulmates could truly read each other's thoughts. "Cerinians have no need to date," she recalled. "When you come of age, Krystal, you'll just know."

 _And I have to know._

She had been thinking about for weeks, months even, and today was the day that she would finally muster up the courage to ask, whether she liked it or not. Yet, as she chanced a gaze at her mate's sleeping face, the embarrassment just seemed to melt away. She snuggled further into the vulpine's embrace as she took in his scent. Maybe, it was just the perfect moment.

"Fox..." she whispered.

He yawned and slowly opened his eyes before he met her gaze with his own. "Yes Krystal?"

She looked longingly into the pools of her mate's emerald eyes. "I was hoping that we could try something together."

"Mmmmm... like what?" he questioned, still half asleep.

"I... want to try to link our minds together. I want to feel your thoughts and your emotions like they're my own, and I want you to feel the same for me. This is something that I've wanted to do for a long time now, but I've always been too embarrassed to ask."

She bit her lip as she waited a response.

"I thought you could read my mind already?"

Krystal giggled. "Well, I can reveal a little bit about what you're thinking and feeling, but not everything!"

Her face twisted into a look of deviance. "What's the harm, unless you're scared that I'll know about every single one of your private thoughts!" she whispered, causing Fox to blush.

After a few moments of careful deliberation, Fox pulled his mate into a longing embrace before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Of course I'll do it."

It didn't take long before the two were sitting across from each other on the bed, hands locked, focusing and meditating for the task at hand. The vixen wished and prayed that this man across from her was her one and only soulmate, but as time passed, she grew frustrated and desperate at the lack of a single thought. In her greatest moment of weakness, she cursed her Cerinian gods, tears beginning to escape her eyes, before a single, stunning thought brought her all the way back to reality.

 _I love you, Krystal._

* * *

It had been a lonely couple of years since the end of the Anglar War. But Krystal was no stranger to loneliness.

As usual, she had woken up in her bed in her average sized apartment on Corneria City. For many, it would be easy to call it a home, and yet, it was not home for her. Not without a family. Not that she deserved one, anyway.

Not a day goes by where she doesn't think about her betrayal of Star Fox just to keep her emotions in check. She joined Star Wolf just to get back at them, which was a poor decision in the making. Her revenge didn't seem satisfy her anger and jealousy. Instead, it only seemed to fuel the regret and guilt she experiences to this day. And it definitely didn't help that her role had caused her to become viewed as an outcast to the public, but it seemed that she had gotten used to it. Life went on, and the past was in the past. There was no use arguing about it now. She had only wished that she had realized what she was doing before it was too late.

And now, it had been painfully obvious that she wouldn't be able to accomplish what she had set out to do so long ago, when she was so young and naive. She wanted to find out what Andross was doing on Sauria, and perhaps kill him for good, one last time. She wanted to find out the secrets of her people, or any semblance of what remained of them. She hated it. And she hated to admit it, but she wanted to be back on Star Fox. With Peppy, and Falco, and Slippy, and... _him._ She growled audibly as she remembered that fateful day. She remembered his pose, his back turned towards her all the while his arms were crossed. He couldn't even face her as he delivered the news which ruined her life.

At this point, she despised him, the sound of his name serving as a cruel reminder to what a fool she had been in the past, to love and trust someone so blindly. That'll never happen again, she thought.

 _If I could go back, I would never have made that same mistake._

And now even though she couldn't fulfill her hopes and dreams as she thought she once could, everything was just fine. Or, the best she could make out of a poor situation. At least she could still dream of the good old days. After all, that was what got her through it all in the first place... _  
_

Before long, a buzz from her communicator woke her from her thoughts.

 _That hasn't been used in years! Who could be-?_

"Hello? Krystal?"

She recognized that voice.

Astonished, she quickly padded over to her desk, looking for the small, metallic device before she quickly responded, "Peppy...? Is that you?"

"Yes. It is. It's been so long, Krystal." She couldn't help but smile as she remembered all the memories she had with the old hare. She almost laughed thinking of all the father-daughter moments and cringe worthy advice she had been given back then. And yet, one of her biggest regrets in life was leaving them all behind. She had hoped that one day, she would be the one to go back and find them. Yet, for some reason even though the roles were reversed, she felt a strange sense of happiness. Maybe, just maybe, things would go back to normal.

"How... how did you get this number? I didn't tell anyone-"

Peppy shushed her audibly before revealing his secret. "Let me just say, that a little birdie told me," causing the vixen to giggle. She had remembered sitting down and keeping a low profile in one of Corneria's sleaziest bars, a place to drown her sorrows in, before seeing the avian guzzling down drinks and shots of every kind. She took a pause and cringed as she had also remembered trying to leave inconspicuously before he grabbed her hand and shouted her name in public. Classic Falco. It was hard for her to admit, but she actually missed him the most.

Somewhere in her mind she knew that it was her fault for refusing to keep up with her old friends, but those thoughts were insignificant now. There were so many questions that she wanted to be answered. Where were Falco and Slippy now? What happened? What have they been up to? Did they know where she was? What did they think of her?

She stared blankly at the smooth, black device in her hands.

 _Did they care?_

"Anyway," the old hare continued, "I don't want to lie, Krystal. I want to meet up with you and talk to you about something. I really hate to be about business, but I want to ask for a favor from you. Will you help me?"

She could picture the exact hopeful look the old hare gave back when they had still worked together, and because of that she quickly responded with a curt "yes." The vixen couldn't help losing her mind briefly in the flood of memories that came with his question. She felt a sense of belonging during all the missions and tasks that she has ever handled at his request. And yet, at the same moment, she felt guilty and anxious at what she had done in the past.

Krystal's heart leaped for joy, and she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the fact that she would get the chance to see one of her oldest friends. Or maybe it was the fact that she would be able to redeem herself. Even though she figured that it would be more of the latter, her situation couldn't have been better in any way.

After her call with Peppy ended, she could barely think, and with good reason. She had wanted this, to see them and talk to them for so long, but she was so afraid. Afraid that her former teammates would want nothing to do with her. Afraid that they would forget about her. Afraid that they would **hate** her. But it doesn't seem that way at all! It had only been a couple of hours since, but she couldn't help remembering everything she'd ever done while she was a part of the Star Fox team, from training to rescue missions, as well as those little, honest moments she would have on break with the rest of the team. And she wanted them back, now more than ever.

But now, she finally had a chance to find out!

 _I better not screw this up._

Without much thought, the vixen quickly input the coordinates that Peppy had given to her into her GPS. The hare seemed so mellow and solemn about his situation, that she hadn't dared to question the information that he'd given her, something so unlike her as to when she used to work for Star Wolf. She used to be so serious and so ruthless, just to survive on her own in such a horrible place. And she hated it. But, at least now she had a chance to change.

 _Peppy wants to meet me in a Cornerian suburb?_

She couldn't help but sneer at the idea of this sick joke as she slowly began to plan the short trip to her location, her trust in the old hare already beginning to fade.

 _Is this a joke?_

Once again she sighed, knowing that she'll have to warm up to taking chances eventually. Maybe this would be a first, but still, her paranoia was getting the better of her. After all, it wasn't uncommon for others to pull this kind of shit, now that it just happened that she was the bad guy. It wouldn't be long before she would find out the truth. Peppy wouldn't lie... right?

After everything that's happened, maybe things would never be the same again, no matter how much she wanted it to be.

But that wouldn't stop her from trying.

* * *

Krystal took a quick glance at her communicator before she finally pulled up to the house. "Meet at 4 o'clock" at this location, his message said. Right on time, then. It was exactly four. She had always known Peppy to be punctual, and she wouldn't want to give a bad first impression after all these years.

The house looked like every other home in the neighborhood. It was just a plain, white two-story house, one that she would've hoped to have some day, but none of that mattered now. What mattered now was Peppy. She briskly walked up the steps to the house before ringing the doorbell, causing a chiming sound to reverberate throughout the house. She hardly had a chance to blink, her head turning just in time for the door to open, revealing a fatter, stouter version of a hare she used to know. For a while, she froze in place, not knowing how to react to his sudden presence.

And for a while, the two stood in the doorway staring at each other, the vixen realizing just how much the hare had changed, before he finally broke the silence. Peppy chuckled. "Well... aren't you going to come in?"

Before he could say anything else, Krystal gave the old hare a big hug, her eyes watering as she had realized just how much she had missed him, like a girl seeing her father for the first time many years. Yet, she didn't even know why. Without breaking free of the hug, she whispered a "Hi Peppy" meekly into his ears. While she dug her face into his shirt, Peppy comforted her while shedding a tear of his own, patting her back with his free hand before responding.

"I'm sorry Krystal. I should have been there for you," he murmured gently. Krystal stiffened from his words, but she didn't speak. She didn't deserve his pity, she knew that much. Yet, it struck a tone with her knowing that her actions have caused Peppy to feel responsible. Everything that has happened to her was her own doing. She didn't want this!

Her head still bowed, she placed a finger on his lips and shushed him before he could say another word. "It's not your fault Peppy, and... it's not something I would like to talk about just yet."

The hare nodded before changing the subject. He put on a more jovial expression before suggesting, "Well. How about a cup of tea then?" which prompted a smile from the vixen.

"I think I'd love that very much."

As the duo walked through the house towards the kitchen, it wasn't hard for the vixen to notice at how unkempt and disheveled the rooms looked. There was dust everywhere, a layer of it causing the photos in the picture frames on the walls to be unrecognizable. Some of the lights were out, and it seemed like the furniture hasn't been used in years. While the old hare was busy brewing tea, Krystal picked up an old photo frame off a counter before blowing the dust off. She took a deep look at the photo before pausing, her face giving off a blank expression. Then she moved on, looking at more and more photos before she finally realized something.

She scrunched up her face and squinted her eyes. That stripe on the boy...

 _Is...is that...?_

Everything came to a stop then. Before she could continue with this any further, she scowled before asking a simple question to the old hare. "Peppy. Why did you ask me to come here?"

For a moment, Peppy stopped what he was doing, a thoughtful look on his face as he wondered how to respond, but he didn't know what to say except for the truth. So he let it out.

"Krystal. I wanted you to come here so you could help me find Fox."

Hearing his name cut deep into her heart. She had decided long ago that she no longer wanted anything to do with him, let alone help him! And yet, it was too late. All the anger, frustration, sadness, and shock that came associated with what had happened in the past had suddenly come flooding back to her in a barrage of memories. And she remembered every single moment of it. He had hurt her so much, even after she'd loved him more than anything in Lylat, and all she had been given in return was a broken heart and a series of bad decisions to create the remains of her pathetic excuse of a life. And just as she was beginning to piece it all together... this happens. Why?

She knew it. She knew this would happen. Just when she thought that she was done with it all, just when she thought that she was ready to move on with her life, it all came rushing back to her at the last moment. No matter how much she tried to escape from her past, it would always come back to find her, no matter where she was.

 _This was a sick joke after all._

Krystal knew that there were no words to say anything about this. She couldn't use logic and reason right now. There was no time for that. So, instead she just let her emotions out. "Why would I help him, after everything that he's done to me?!" she snarled. "He kicked me off the team and forced me away, and all you can think about is Fox? What about me?!"

Peppy took his time before giving a response, which seemed to enrage the vixen even further.

"Well?!"

Instead, the old hare started intently at the grayed out McCloud family photo that she was holding in her hand. In it, a very content James and Vixy were holding a young Fox at four years old. He sighed deeply. He almost forgot what James looked like before his life went to hell.

The old hare spoke softly, "I want you to know that I've never agreed with his decision to force you off, but it was never my decision to make in the first place."

Krystal still stood unfazed by his comment, but before she could say anything, he bowed his head and continued.

"It was still my fault, however. I could've been there for you, to talk to you, to help you through a hard time. But I was ignorant, and I was wrong to assume that everything would work out. Just look at us," his voice dwindling before he ended his response. "It didn't."

It was at this point the old hare decided to meet Krystal's gaze with his own, his solemn eyes beginning to drive a hole through her heart. Her emotions dwindled by the second, and she couldn't think of anything to say, so she just stared. Taking in the vixen's silent response as a means to continue, Peppy whispered to her, his voice cracking along the way.

"I love you as much as my own daughter, Krystal, but it seems that I haven't shown that love to you at all." The hare choked back a sob. "And even as I say these words to you, not a day goes by where I don't think about how I've neglected you, But, I've neglected Fox too."

She had never seen the old hare like this. His melancholic appearance seemed to calm her down, but her hatred and anger continued to fight to take hold in her mind. She growled, "Peppy... this has nothing to do with you."

"But it does. I've broken many promises in my life, Krystal. But, I'll be damned if I break one more to my best friend, the man who saved my life." Before Krystal could respond, the hare placed a familiar looking object into her arms.

 _This is... my staff! How could he have this?_

Krystal's eyes watered as she clutched her staff, placing her fingers on the crystals that lay ingrained within the gnarled material. It was the only object she had that could remind her of her homeland. Yet, here it was, back in her fingers. "How did you..?"

"Fox found it for you. I know he hurt you. But he's out there somewhere, hurting, and it's up to you to save him. If you can't find it in your heart to help him, then... well please do it for me."

At this point, tears were streaming down the vixen's face, her body shuddering as she struggled to keep her emotions in check. Even now, even after all this, her hatred was still there.

 _Peppy, why are you doing this to me? He ruined my life! He pushed me away from the only family that I had! He pushed me away from you!_

"And I know you might find this tough to believe, but everything he's done to you was an accident. This is why I brought you here. Just look all around you. This is the life that he had, and the life that he lost. He experienced more loss than most of us ever have." The old hare put on an expression of hurt as he continued explaining. "He's lost his mother, and he's lost his father. He's lost his friends and family to war, just as I have. And yet, he's given us so much, but now nobody is stepping up to return the favor. I think the only one who can truly understand him... is you."

Krystal understood now. It wasn't Fox's fault anymore. It was hers. He was just trying to protect her. All those words he's ever said over the years, all that bullshit that she ever thought was a ploy just to get her to come back was truly genuine, and she was the one doing the damage now. She knew she could feel the hurt he experienced when he told her about his childhood, so so long ago. Maybe she was ready to forgive, but what the hare was about to say... she wouldn't be able to hate Fox anymore after hearing it.

"He loved you. He loved you so much that he was willing to lose you than watch you get hurt. And now look what happened to him."

The vixen braced herself for his words before the hare turned away from her.

"I'm not quite sure that he even wants to live anymore."

 _He loved me. And I hurt him._

Clenching his fists, he whispered, "I understand that you hate him Krystal, but I love him. I love him more than anything, and I can't bear to lose him."

 _No. I don't hate him. Not anymore._

Everyone makes mistakes, she thought. Even Fox. Up until now, she thought her life was cruel and wretched, but it was just as much her fault for making it that way. Not Fox's. The blue vixen slowly nodded, the fur under her eyes soaked wet with tears, before embracing the hare with what willpower she had left.

As of now, it wasn't up in the air anymore about her decision, she thought. She would find him and bring him back, but it wasn't just for Peppy. She had few reasons as well.

 _I'm sorry Fox. For everything._

* * *

Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing my chapters. I'd like to give a shoutout to TroyGroomes and LadyofStarFox, as well as my guest and anonymous reviewers as well.

I'm really trying to refine my style and continue to lengthen my chapters, but it's a long learning process for me. If needs be though, I may rewrite this in the future, as this is the only original idea I have thus far.

Anyway, please leave a review if you can. The input could really help me out!


	5. Where to Go from Here

Fox McCloud was done with it all.

He had lost everything. His pride, his reputation, his home, his friends. His family. He could name so many more things in seconds just off the top of his head, but that would only seem to depress him further.

 _If that were even possible._

The vulpine lost himself in his thoughts as he continued to drift through space, searching for some reason or some meaning to keep on going, but he could find none. She was gone now, and Star Fox was no more. The sad thing was, he had nobody to blame but himself.

 _Everything is my fault._

Every moment he continued to pilot the vehicle's controls, he couldn't help but compare the cold, smooth, and rounded metal fixtures to those of a trigger on his blaster, something he would hope to use again just one last time. And yet, the vulpine felt that he owed himself just some more time to think before leaving this cruel world, but he knew that his thoughts would never falter in producing more pain and misery. All he had to do was ask himself one simple question that he could never answer.

Why?

But that was always how it started.

Why did he do this? Why did he make such an impulsive decision by himself? Why didn't he tell her he loved her? Why didn't he talk to anybody else about this? Why was he such an idiot?

 _Why do I keep on living?_

And that was how it always ended. He hated his situation and what he had become. But not as much as he hated himself for doing this.

Never again would he hear the soothing tone of the sapphire vixen's voice. Never again would he allow her alluring scent to drift through his nostrils. And never again would he share another single moment of happiness with her. And that in itself was more reason than anything to give up. Yet, for some strange reason, Fox did feel a bit of relief from the final outcome. After all, his friends were fine, and Krystal was safe and sound.

 _And that itself was worth dying for._

Now that everything was over with, nothing mattered anymore. There was nothing left to tie him back to what his life used to be, save for his own memories, of course. It was the best time to vanish into thin air, but he knew that the remnants of his friendship would come back to haunt him. Peppy and Slippy cared about him. Maybe Falco cared. But Krystal... she definitely didn't.

And with this all in mind, the vulpine guessed that his friends would try to find him, but not for a second would he give them the chance. It wouldn't be long before he would enter Meteos, and use the asteroid belt as a safe haven for anyone who could come looking for him. From then on, he could lay low and hide, just as he has been doing all along, before finding somewhere else to drift to. With this, the vulpine could focus on completing another step towards his one way trip to hell, with his thoughts festering more and more every second for the rest of his life.

He didn't want his friends to waste their time on him. They had better things to focus on in their own lives, like their families, or their hopes and dreams, things that are far more important than him.

He would just get in the way.

The once proud leader of Star Fox stared blankly ahead, his eyes focused on the chunks of rock which slowly drifted past his field of vision.

He couldn't help but think just one thought, one which he's had all along.

 _They're better off without me._

* * *

It was a hard fought war with the Anglar Empire, but it seems that Corneria had beaten them with the help of Star Fox and Star Wolf, ceasing yet another source of conflict for years to come. For many, it meant peace and stable rule for years to come. And for many, like Slippy, Falco, and especially one General Hare back on Corneria, it meant a cause for celebration and revelry.

However, for one blue vixen, it meant nothing.

While all the other patrons on the Great Fox were living their lives in the break room, Krystal continued to lurk on the bridge, staring into space while wondering. Wondering about all her missed opportunities. Wondering about her homelessness. Wondering about how she could have any happiness left in this cruel world after she had it seized from her by force not once, but twice.

That is, until a certain vulpine joined her.

But she refused to acknowledge his presence. For a while, the two stood on the bridge in silence before he decided to say something.

"Krystal."

But all she returned was a look of contempt so subtle, that she knew it would have to hurt the vulpine.

"What do you want?" she muttered, her tone uncaring and aloof, make sure the vulpine would regret bothering her. She didn't want to talk to him. Not now, and not ever again.

"I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry that-"

"Save it, Fox. You've made your choices already. You've kicked me off your team. It's clear that you don't want me to be here. Now leave."

At first, he bowed his head in dejection, but the vulpine remained hopeful before he finally responded, his voice teeming with confidence.

"No."

Krystal raised her brow in intrigue.

 _How dare he? After all this, how dare he refuse to listen?_

"I want you to come back. You don't belong with Star Wolf. You belong here, with Star Fox. Please understand-"

"No _you_ understand Fox! All you do is make choices for me. Have you ever thought about what I've wanted?"

All Fox could do was bow his head, stunned in silence, but the vixen continued.

"You're a coward, Fox. You took away my home, my family, and everything else that I've ever wanted in this world away from me. To me, you're no worse than Andross."

And with that, the vixen left, a scowl on her face as she knew she broke whatever spirit he had left. As she left the bridge, leaving the vulpine in the dark once again, she had failed to realize that she could have had her old life back in an instant. She could have had her home, her family, and her hopes and dreams back within the clutches of her paws.

She just hated him too much to realize it.

* * *

The sapphire vixen and the old hare walked briskly through the halls of Corneria City's oldest docking station, neither of them speaking a word to the other. After all, they had spoken enough just a few hours ago, and any more now would just be a waste of time.

And they were running out of time.

Krystal couldn't believe what she was doing. It seemed like a dream, that she would even consider possibly helping Fox in the smallest of ways, but it all felt too real. Only a few hours ago did she despise the vulpine's name with a burning passion, refusing to let go of her hatred from dictating her life. But never could she predict that after all her years of brokenness, her old team would be the one to save her. She kept thinking back to what Peppy had said, and every single glance she took at the old hare during their trip revealed a look of determination. A look to make things right. Something that she could only wish to possess.

And yet, after all this time, her hate and her anger was still there, stronger than ever. But it wasn't for Fox.

It was at herself.

Looking back at it all, she realized that she was blinded by her emotions, and she was willing to do every little thing she could just to get back at the vulpine for what he had done to her, to make him feel as cold and abandoned as he had made her. And for a while, it clearly worked. She knew now that she had hurt him in the worst of ways, though she felt no justice or satisfaction from her actions.

For the first time after everything that's happened, she felt sorry for him.

Over the years, she had considered dropping it all, throwing her decision to join Star Wolf away with all the emotional baggage that came along with it, and going back to the Star Fox team once and for all. There, she would be reunited with her family, and everything would be back to normal.

But she couldn't let him win. Not after what he did. She vowed to make him suffer the way she did. All she had to do was sacrifice her happiness for it.

She frowned at her realization, angry at herself because of her thoughts. Angry at her rash decision to get back at the vulpine once and for all. Angry that she could've made it all better, to mend her broken relationship at her whim. Yet, the universe had given her countless chances to make things right, and make it go back to the way it were before.

And she had blew them all off.

But now, things have changed. Fortunately, she had just one more chance to make things right.

 _I will not mess this up._

Not a second later did Krystal and Peppy suddenly stop at two gigantic metal sliding doors, snapping the vixen out of her thoughts.

"We're here," the old hare chuckled, confusing the sapphire vixen greatly. He was clearly in his best mood given the circumstances. But she wouldn't find out why until a minute later.

 _I didn't think I'd ever use my Cloudrunner ever again._

Slowly, the doors sidled, revealing her old ship in the best condition of its life. She gasped as she took in its appearance, pausing like a deer in headlights as she stared at the ship, before running her hand across the smooth metal.

The vixen, awestruck, couldn't help but inquire to Peppy how he could have done this, to which he simply replied, "You think being old means I don't keep track of this kind of stuff eh?" The hare smiled. "I knew whose ship this belonged to, so I touched it up just a bit."

She missed it. She missed everything from its metallic luster to its sleek, aqua paint job. But it was more than that. It brought back her old life, her life with her family on Star Fox, and her life with her companions on Sauria. And it looked brand new.

She could even see her reflection through the windows at the right angle. But all it reminded of her was how long it has been. Her hair was longer now, her eyes a little duller, and there was a certain seriousness about her face, a large contrast from what a naive girl she used to be. It was all for the better now, she supposed, but she couldn't help but wonder.

 _What could life have been like, if I had just refused to leave? Or if I had chosen to return that night?_

Krystal took a running start before jumping onto the wing of her Cloudrunner. But with that, she briefly admired the view from her height before jumping into the cockpit. It was the first time in years that she had gotten to experience the feel of her Arwing, but instead of giggling and playing with the controls as she once had, it was now bittersweet to her. She grasped the controls in her paws and took a good long look through the windshield, letting her thoughts wander. But instead of seeing the countless number of enemies she had once shot down for justice, she could only see the emptiness of space that night she was forced away into the grasps of Star Wolf.

And it made her sick.

Letting out a sigh, the vixen reached around to search for anything she might have left behind. There was nothing in any of the overhead chambers. There was nothing in the glove compartment. It was clean, just the way that she had left it. Or so she thought, before she checked under her seat.

She ran her paw across the smooth metal tiling of the floor before a piece of paper grazed her skin and left her wondering what she had found. Without hesitating, she grabbed it, realizing that it was a photo before she stared in disbelief.

It was a picture of Fox.

Time seemed to come to a stop as she tried to comprehend it. His brown fur. His emerald eyes. That white stripe on his head and his confident smile. Everything that she'd grown to hate or forget was all brought back to her in an instant. And it felt weird to her. She hadn't seen him in so long, that she almost felt happy to see his face again, just a for a few seconds, before her mind would catch up to her and remind her of everything that he had put her through.

He pushed her away. He hurt her. He broke her heart.

But she knew that he felt the same way.

And it all brought her back to reality. He was the one she was looking for. The one she was trying to save. She paused at the thought, thinking about the irony of it all.

 _It shouldn't have to be this way._

She sighed once again, before Peppy called out to her.

"Krystal? Are you okay in there?"

The vixen climbed out of her Arwing and carefully descended to the ground. "I'm fine. Just having a little bit of nostalgia is all."

The hare nodded. "I'm sorry it had to be like this, Krystal."

"Peppy... where do I even begin?" she confessed. "He could be anywhere by now. I don't know if I can do this." She held his gaze with her own as she hoped for anything. A location? A hint? Even a riddle would be nice. But she was met with a shake of the head from the hare.

"I know," he confessed. The hare took out a white envelope from his pocket before placing it delicately in the vixen's paws. "I believe in you Krystal. If there's anyone left in this world that can find him, it'll be you."

He pulled her into a hug before sending her off. "I'm proud of you."

Looking back around her shoulder, the sapphire vixen gave off a huge grin to her mentor as she prepared to leave. She smirked before responding. "I won't let you down Peppy." But she knew that she had to focus.

The vixen knew that finding the vulpine would be a long shot at best. But even then, she would try.

Maybe, just maybe, things would be alright.

* * *

 _Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm not dead. I just started working about three months ago, and it's really heating up now. I used to spend some of my time writing at work (when nobody was looking!) and I'd get some actual progress done, but lately it's been a real hassle. Sorry about that. This update might be short and have taken a while, but I think I'm going to have more free time in the near future, so the next one might be faster!_

 _If you could review or follow, that would be really great!_


	6. Numb

Krystal bit her lip in anticipation. She let her eyes wander around the break room, looking for anything that might distract her, but she would always end her gaze on a certain somebody lounging right next to her. It's been at least a year now since her induction to the Star Fox team, and her ability to speak to the vulpine at this point was a little worse than she would like to admit. But at least it kept things from getting boring. Right?

And yet, the cobalt vixen couldn't help but admire everything about him, from his chiseled physique to his handsome features. She thought it would've been long enough now, for her to get used to seeing him around, but every day she was proving herself wrong. Some days she would stare at the intense white stripe on his forehead. Other days, she felt like she could be captured for hours by the precious jade gems which were his eyes. But the smiles he gave off towards her, those goofy grins that only he could make in the most insignificant of moments, truly captivated her heart.

But his looks were second in comparison to his personality. She loved his quiet nature. He was always humble, generous, and there was a certain shyness about him that caused her to be drawn to him, like he was a lone star in the emptiness of space.

But he had been through so much. He knew what loss, and pain, and loneliness felt like. He knew what it felt like to lose everything. Somewhere, below that hardened shell of a vulpine, was something worth exploring, and she wanted to know more. More about him, his strengths, his weaknesses, his thoughts and feelings, and everything else she could find along the way. It was these feelings that ultimately caused her to stay with him.

Fortunately, he felt the same way about her.

However, before she could stop herself from staring too long, she caught the eye of her mate, who had begun to smile, that toothy grin on his face which she loved so much.

 _What are you looking at?_

Krystal could hear it in her head, the thought curious yet playful at the same time. She could help but to blush a slight pink before looking away.

 _Nothing!_

The vulpine raised his brow in confusion, but he lost interest eventually and went back to relaxing. What he didn't know, however, was that the vixen slowly set her gaze on him again, hungry for more. He looked as peaceful as ever, as if he were about to drift to sleep at any second. It was moments like these which she wished would never end.

And so, an idea revealed itself.

 _Hey Fox?_

 _Yes Krystal?_

 _I was just thinking... do you think it would be nice to live on Sauria someday?_

* * *

 **"You took away my home, my family, and everything else that I've ever wanted in this world away from me. To me, you're no worse than Andross."**

Loaded words. Words he'd never forget for as long as he lived. Words that gave him nightmares.

And yet, the vulpine had it all planned out.

He remembered that he was so confident, so sure of himself to bring her back. He wanted to give her his most heartfelt apology, and pour out the truest of feelings that his heart could muster. He would say sorry, and then she would forgive him. Then, in the end, everything would be alright, because they were meant to be together. Because it was all just a dumb, fucking mistake.

He was never more wrong in his entire life.

Everything backfired on him. He couldn't even manage more than a few of his own words before he was shot down in the dark by her cold words and her spine chilling tone. But he deserved it. Fox realized that he was continuing to control her, continuing to make her decisions for her in the worst of ways. All because he loved her.

She didn't see it, but she knew her words had just stabbed the vulpine in his heart that fateful day. He would never forget another single syllable of the chilling, heart wrenching response he'd been given as long as he lived. And there he remained on the bridge in order to stare into the empty void of space, wondering if there was ever a single possibility that everything she said to him that day was true. At first, even a suggestion of the idea that he was the "bad guy" was laughable at best, but that was always how it started.

Over time, his negative emotions chipped away at his resolve, and his mind grew more twisted with self-destructive tendencies. For years, he questioned himself and his intentions, letting his thoughts fester in the worst of ways before he finally came to a conclusion. There, a single thought remained in his head, pervading his mind with pain and guilt for the rest of his days.

 _She was right.  
_

In her eyes, he was a coward. He was a liar. He was a manipulator, a deceiver, a betrayer. In her eyes, he was the same as Andross, if not worse, and he couldn't help but admit that he did do all those things that she said he did, albeit for the right reasons... but none of it mattered anymore.

She was gone now.

He felt sick for thinking such things, but even now, the vulpine continued to pilot his ship through the emptiness of space with a longing pain in his heart, trying to come to terms with his actions. He had once looked to space in order to find his answers, using each star as a metaphor of a shining solution to his problems. But now, all he saw was an endless ocean of darkness, one that he wished could wash away all the guilt and pain and sadness in which he had to endure. He would never see her again, and without her in his life...

 _What was the point of it all?_

The vulpine just wanted nothing more than his old life back, to be with her again. And from that, an idea flashed into his mind. Maybe he could have the next best thing.

 _What better than to go back to where it all started?_

 _000_

It wasn't long before Fox landed his Arwing in an open clearing.

As soon as he stepped out of the cockpit, the vulpine grinned as he took in the view. He couldn't help but admire the blueness of the sky and the lushness of the grasses and trees which were such a dark contrast to what he saw during the Aparoid War, and with it, a breath of fresh air, something the pilot was in dire need of. He looked out across the environment ahead of him, as he was instilled with a familiar sense of nostalgia, remembering everything he'd done to uphold the innocence of this place. He remembered fighting back countless Sharpclaw in order to help Tricky protect the dinosaur clans. He remembered collecting Krazoa spirits to protect the balance of the planet. But best of all, he remembered how he met Krystal. For a time, Sauria was his home. He missed it.

But the vulpine scowled as his realizations set in. He used to be so happy then, but now...

Now Sauria was nothing more than a cruel reminder of what he longed for, what he used to be. He wanted to take life for a joyride and make life give in to his demands. And for a time, he did. The fox pilot was once so forthright, so proud about his accomplishments. The residents of Sauria considered him their savior for doing that which no one had dared to do.

 _I'm just a fraud._

In his mind, he was no savior, nor was he a hero, or guardian, or even a warrior. He was none of those things. At best, he was just a mercenary that had far too many problems, who had grown to run away and hide from his faults.

He was nothing, and he knew it.

But not sooner did he finish his thought did his ears perk up to a thumping sound coming from behind him. Expecting some kind of attack, he quickly spun around and unholstered his blaster, aiming at the thick foliage behind him, only to hear a familiar Earthwalker to call his name.

"FOX!"

He recognized that voice. Although it was much lower and deeper than he had remembered, he would come to accept the fact that he would be tackled into the ground, as per usual.

And that was exactly what happened. Sure enough, the form of a much larger King Tricky immediately burst from the shadows made by a few nearby trees before shoving the vulpine's much smaller form onto the ground.

Fox smiled as he was nuzzled by the large dinosaur. He had forgotten how much he missed Tricky. He missed exploring and adventuring with him. But that was in the past now. To the vulpine, Tricky was just another piece of the puzzle that he wanted to avoid.

Unfortunately, the Earthwalker thought differently.

Before Fox had even stood up, Tricky began firing his barrage of questions at the dirt-covered vulpine. How are you? Where have you been? What's going on? Where's your team?

But Fox could only stammer as he tried to comprehend what he was saying.

"Are you here for your honeymoon?" he questioned.

"I...uhh-"

"Fox, where's Krystal?" the Earthwalker inquired as he looked around the area.

The vulpine paused what he was doing, his heartache beginning to return at the mere mention of her name. It was bad enough that he had to think about her every second for every day during the rest of his miserable life, but it seemed that this was just adding salt to the wound. Before the vulpine even knew it, he was clenching his fists, sneering about the irony of it all. He had come here to escape his old life, only for it to catch up to him, but at least Tricky didn't know that.

"She's... not here with me," the vulpine responded.

"Where is she? I thought-"

"Just drop it. I don't want to talk about it."

"But she was always with you! You said-"

Fox grit his teeth and snarled, his voice emotional and full of self-loathing than ever. "I _know_ what I said!"

The Earthwalker backpedaled, clearly taken aback by his outburst. This wasn't the Fox that he used to know. This Fox looked haggard and unwell, with every part of his body screaming exhaustion. Why?

The tod turned his back. "It's been a while, and things have changed. Things I'm not comfortable talking about," he muttered, trying sound as unemotional as he could.

"Fox... what happened?"

"What happened?" Fox questioned himself.

The tod sighed as he looked up to the sky. He asked himself that same question every single day, but he couldn't find an answer, no matter how deep he searched within himself. Things used to be so different, but then everything changed when he fucked it all up.

The vulpine deliberated what he should do. Maybe he should spend his time explaining to the Tricky about everything that happened. How he tried to protect his love, only to end up ruining not only one, but two lives in the process. How he came here to escape from all his problems. How he hated himself enough to find a way to disappear in the most inconspicuous of ways. But he couldn't bring himself to do that.

Maybe, it would give him a bit of closure to explore the deep wounds that would continue to fester within his heart, but it was too late now. He had already spent enough of his life attending his own pity party. But at least he felt like he owed his friend a decent explanation before he was on his way.

Fox bowed his head to the ground before he spoke. "I...I hurt her, okay?" he quietly conceded. "She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore... and it's best to keep it that way."

Tricky stood silently, eagerly waiting for a further explanation. But instead, he received a request.

"I need you to promise me something," the vulpine said, his head still bowed.

The Earthwalker's eyes glowed with anticipation. "Yes Fox?"

The vulpine continued, his voice as solemn as he could manage. "Don't let anyone know I'm here. If anybody at all comes looking for me, send them away. Can you do that for me?"

Tricky nodded earnestly. But before the two went on their separate ways, the dinosaur managed to stop in his tracks, causing Fox to stop what he was doing. There was just one more question that he wanted to ask, and he and Fox both knew it. The Earthwalker turned back towards the vulpine and met his gaze before he finally spoke as sincerely as he could.

"Fox."

He stared deeply into the green of the vulpine's eyes.

"Why did you come here?"

Fox hesitated.

 _ **Why am I here?**_

The vulpine stiffened in shock at how honest the question was, but he could only give a sad smile, shaking his head in response. He sighed at his discontent before continuing to pack his things.

"There are some things, Tricky, that are better left unsaid."

* * *

 _How could they possibly expect me to find him? I have no leads as to where he is!_

The blue vixen slumped into her seat and brought her hands to her head, clutching her hair as she tried to think of a sensible solution.

 _ **You'll find a way. Peppy believes in you!**_

 _So what? It's been years since I've even seen him._

 _ **But even then, you've been closer to him than anyone else.**_

That was true. Her eyes drifted over to Fox's photo. She remembered how confident and caring he was, how quiet he would get around her. But how does this matter? He wouldn't be the same anymore. Nobody would, not with what she did.

 _If it weren't for me, then this never would have happened._

But none of that matters anymore. Krystal strengthened her resolve before going back to the problem at hand. She wouldn't give up that easily. Even then...

 _I've had my fair share of terrible missions, but this..._

She stared at his portrait.

 _This is ridiculous._

Krystal shook her head as she stared at the map of Lylat. What was she supposed to go off by? Slippy and Falco's word that he wasn't on any of these entire _planets_? She could believe Slippy. Maybe he had invented some kind of tool to figure that out, but she couldn't imagine the blue avian doing anything as productive. It was hard for her not to imagine him getting wasted and trying to catch a quick one night stand with some cheap floozy, but maybe he's a changed birdy.

Or maybe not.

Fox was crafty and intelligent, not to mention the years of experience he had over her, and for all she knew, Fox could be hiding out right under their noses and they wouldn't suspect a thing.

 _If he didn't want to be found..._

She sighed.

 _Then there was no telling where he could be._

Krystal tried to stay optimistic, but clearly her thoughts weren't on the same page. Why was this so hard? Why couldn't she just call him and apologize? If only she would've just done that once so long ago. If only it were that easy...

 _Come on, Krystal, think! Wait a second..._

The sapphire vixen quickly glanced at the white envelope next to her, before grasping it in her paws. She pondered a second trying to figure out what was inside, but it was blank aside for a "To: Krystal" written on its outside cover. Thinking back, when Peppy placed it into her paws, she had thought nothing of it before slipping it quickly into her pocket. But now...

 _What is this? Maybe these are clues from Peppy?_

She opened the envelope delicately, making sure not to damage its contents, as whatever this was could be the answer to what she was looking for. But upon seeing the handwriting, she gasped as she realized that this wasn't the case.

This... this was written by none other than Fox McCloud.

Krystal's heart quickly sank, but she knew she would have to read what he wrote. Without a moment's notice, she began to scan over the page, preparing herself for what she was about to experience.

And so, she began.

 _Dear Krystal,_

 _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

 _I could apologize once or twice more, or even a hundred times, but none of it would make a difference. It's over now. Things will never go back to the way they were before, and it's all my fault._

 _I'm not here to ask for forgiveness, because I know I don't deserve it. Instead, I'm writing this to get these feelings off my chest and help myself come to terms with everything that's happened. By the time you read this, I will already be gone, but that shouldn't matter to you._

 _ **No Fox... it does matter.**_

 _I've thought about everything you've said to me on the bridge that day. You said that I was a coward and a liar. That all I do is make choices for you._

 _You were right... about everything, and I hate myself for it. Every day since I've forced you off the team has been the worst day of my life, but needless to say, I've deserved it._

 _ **You don't deserve that hurt.**_

 _I've always loved you, Krystal. I loved you so much, that I couldn't bear to let you get hurt, for I would never forgive myself had that happened. I didn't want to lose you. I tried to put my heart in all the right places, but I ended up losing you anyway. And now that you're gone, I can't help but think that life is less worth living._

 _ **I never knew.**_

 _You were everything to me. You were my future, and you were my happiness. You were my reason to live. For years, I've waited and sat on my ass hoping that one day you would come back. But I'm not going to delude myself any further._

 _I'm sorry. Sorry that I didn't listen to you. Sorry that I hurt you._

 _You've given me so much...friendship and love and affection. And all I've given in return was pain. I took away your family and your friends. I'm no better than Andross himself. I wish you had never even met someone like me._

 _ **I don't think of you that way!**_

 _I'm trying to arrange for your staff to get back to you. It's not much, but I hope I can do just one thing right for you before I'm gone. After that, please forget me. Find someone else who can love you the way you used to love me.  
_

 _You'll learn to live without me. Like I had to live without you._

 _Goodbye, Krystal._

 _Love,_

 _Fox_

The vixen choked out a sob as she stared at the letter she held in her paws, feeling the tears trickling down her face to the paper. In the meantime, she was unable to shift her gaze to anything else other than the vulpine's personal handwriting as the droplets continued to stain the ink of the characters. In her mind, she could only ask herself one question.

 _Why couldn't I have apologized to him?_

Again and again the vixen kicked herself mentally before she felt sick to her stomach. She'd hurt him so many times. Every time he had even attempted to rekindle even a fraction of the friendship that they once had, she had shot him down every time. She remembered every single sneer, scowl and grimace she ever gave to him, and it all came rushing back in full force so quickly that it was making her head spin. And it was all because he continued to love her.

He'd loved her so much, but to experience that much hurt... would be unbearable. And it was all her fault. She realized that much.

Time and time again the vixen tried to reassure herself that Fox was the bad guy. That he was the one to who'd fucked up everything and continued to cause her pain years down the road, not to mention the rest of her life, but now... now she wasn't so sure.

He did mess up. Everything that happened to her was his fault. But he did it because he loved her.

 _ **You'll learn to live without me. Like I had to live without you.**_

His final words kept echoing in her head, causing her emotions to let loose. Her anger, sadness, anxiety, and frustration were slipping out of her mind as she continued to try to think of a solution, but time was running out.

 _I have to save him._

It was all up to her now. There was no doubt about it. If she didn't do something now, then she would have no hope of ever seeing him again. Never again would she be held in his loving embrace. Never again would she get to experience his quiet and caring presence. But she wouldn't dare let that happen.

She searched her thoughts frantically for something, anything that could be of use to her as the clock ticked down. As close as she was to having a mental breakdown in space, the vixen simply wouldn't allow it. There would be no chance of that happening... not after feeling his struggles. After she felt his pain and remorse, she couldn't help but to strengthen her resolve.

He had done so much for her in the past. He had offered her a home when nobody else would. He gave her a group of friends and family that she couldn't have hoped to forget even if she had wanted to. He'd given her a life that she wanted, a life that she deserved. He had _saved_ her and given her another chance…another shot at achieving her dreams. And she would. She would have a family and spend the rest of her days with him and continue to discover the secrets of her people and do much more with her life than she could have expected. And he would be at her side through it all.

She began to remember all of the moments she ever had with the vulpine as the memories came flooding back, but along with it, a mental breakthrough.

"Sauria..." she mumbled. It was obvious, now that she thought more carefully about him. He was lovesick for her and he missed being with her. So the closest thing would have to be... where they first met.

 _But if he were truly serious about killing himself, then..._

Then the vixen could only hope that it wasn't too late. But now was not the time to hope and pray.

 _I'm not going to live without you Fox. Because... I still love you._

Once again, she took a glance at the photo she clutched in her paw. From here on out, the tears were completely gone. Instead, a glint of determination and focus could be seen in the turquoise of Krystal's eyes. She couldn't lose him now. Not when they had so much left to live for.

 _Hold on, Fox. I'm coming to save you._

* * *

 _It's been a much better week at work recently. Hope I can update faster and more frequently._

 _Thanks for reading. Drop a review if you can please. :)_


	7. Somewhere I Belong

It was tough for the vulpine to imagine what he would feel, but as days wore on the emotions became clearer and clearer.

At first, it was joy. He felt the sense of adventure that he once had as he would get the opportunity to explore such a beautiful place, and he felt a sense of duty knowing that he would be able to use his experience and training in order to finally make a difference in this world. For once... he felt that he belonged in this cruel world, despite life's attempt to bring him down.

He lost his mother. He lost his father. The only family that he would ever come to ever recognize came from a mercenary team that came and went as they pleased. And so, he needed something else to fill that gap in his life. Something that would give him passion and zeal and whatever arduous emotion he would ever need to distract him from his situation, so along came the mercenary life.

He enjoyed that, if only for a little while. But it was a shame to find out that he was no different from the scum that he once sought out to destroy, and that was only the beginning of his dark descent as he realized something that he had come to forget a long long time ago.

That he was truly alone.

As time went on, he would come to re-experience the living hell he hoped to escape from, and quickly did he find out that there was nothing he could do.

Confusion. Sadness. Regret. Frustration. Shame.

Helplessness.

The list went on and on as Fox struggled to come to terms with his fate, but no matter what, he continued to wander to search for those feelings that he longed for.

Thorntail Hollow. Ice Mountain. Cape Claw.

He journeyed to all these places, hoping to envision the remains of his once brave and forthright actions to save this vulnerable place from the cruelest dictator that life could offer, but he couldn't see any of that. He found that he couldn't even admire the natural beauty of these places or even the intricate architecture of the various temples he had once ventured to.

What he saw instead was a coward.

No matter where he went, he would continue to see flashbacks of the mistakes. He no longer felt that bravery, that courage. That feel of adrenaline coursing through this body, knowing that he was the only one who could safeguard the sanctity of this planet and the Lylat System as a whole. No. What he saw now was his arrogance and his deluded ideals. How he felt that he could even possibly hope to make a positive difference in this lifetime.

He would just end up fucking everything up.

Now, he realized that Sauria, just like everywhere else that was left in this Lylat System, served as nothing more than to remind him of his deepest faults and broken promises. But this place, by far, was the worst. It was here that he gave her a second chance at mending the tatters of her ruined life, only to take it all away from her. Krystal, the purest and most compassionate soul that he had ever met.

And so Fox sat, after a long winded journey, on the beaches of Cape Claw, hoping to relax and feel the warmth of the sun on his skin. But he wasn't surprised when his hope didn't come through.

He hadn't had any rest in weeks due to his guilt, and what he had truly envisioned as a vacation of some sorts, quickly became a living nightmare. The vulpine began to feel numb more than anything else. He felt nothing but the emptiness that was inside of him, and at long last, his mind screamed at him to end it. It wouldn't be long before he would.

At any moment now, the vulpine was going to break, but what kept him going was something that nobody could have expected.

His love.

The vulpine longed for Krystal...her feel, her touch, her overall presence. He wanted more than anything to see her again, and to see something that even resembled the sapphire vixen's smiling face would have made him leap for joy, and then he would gladly die...but his heart was fighting a losing battle.

He grimaced at the irony of it all, because he knew that she wouldn't come for him, nor would anyone else for that matter. Soon, he would be forgotten, but that was all part of the plan, he thought.

 _That was all part of the plan._

* * *

Krystal scowled as she clutched her ship's controls in her hands, aiming to hit maximum speed towards Sauria. But other than that, there was nothing she could do but wait.

She hated it.

Whereas the vixen would once use this ample time given in order to meditate the day away, Krystal now knew that time was not to be wasted. Not when her love was in danger.

And here she waited, alone in her own ship save for her own thoughts, continuing to wonder why how this could happen, and what the near future could behold, but her thoughts were just as cruel and relentless as her old self.

 _How could you do this to him?_

 _What if you let your teammates down?_

 _Why couldn't you just have forgiven him?_

 _How will you find him?_

 _Are you sure he's even here?_

The vixen stared blankly ahead through the windshield.

 _ **What if he already passed away?**_

The vixen closed her eyes, a grimace clearly visible on her face, as she struggled to block out her own thoughts while a barrage of question after question continued to assault her mental well-being, and from the feel of it all, it was apparent that ignoring them just wouldn't do.

Slowly she began to consider the premise of each question, but she found that couldn't answer a single one if she tried, or let alone what she would do in order to find out. But if it were true... if Fox, that sweet caring vulpine that she loved with every inch of the being in her heart was really gone from her life...then she wouldn't know what to do. She couldn't go back to living her old life. It was clear that her thoughts wouldn't let her, and to know that she caused a vulpine who treated her with the utmost respect and honesty enough heartache to disappear from this world would cripple her very being.

 _I would never be able to live with myself._

Fox was the only one who ever truly appreciated her, she thought. He took her in, when nobody else would. He gave her everything she had wanted without a moment's hesitation. He revealed his brokenness to her, to show her that things can, and will get better in the future. And yet, these realizations only made the cobalt vixen that much more desperate to find him, and that much more anxious to see him.

 _He gave me a second life... but I couldn't even give him a second chance._

She knew it was a long shot for him to be here, and she prayed with every fiber of her being that she was correct. But strangely, somehow she just knew it by the feeling in her gut. "Trust your instincts," she vaguely recalled Fox saying to her. Now here she was, putting it into practice, just like he would have wanted.

But at the end of the day, a faint doubt continued to linger in the back of vixen's head while she mindlessly reached her destination.

 _ **What if you fail?**_

It was hard for the vixen to be so confident and calculated as she had been before, but even her old self would have to agree about the uncertainty of it all. There was no telling where the vulpine could be after all this time, and it would take nothing less than a miracle to find him.

But at least he was there in her thoughts. Because even if he was gone...

 _I'll never forget what he did for me._

000

The vixen landed her Cloudrunner deftly in a clearing near the outskirts of Thorntail Hollow.

If there was anyone that would've seen Fox, it would have to be Tricky, she deduced. He had eyes and ears everywhere, and he had proven to be an efficient, responsible leader during the Aparoid War, she knew that much. Before she could even leave the cockpit of her aircraft, a large grin found its way to the sapphire vixen's face. A much more mature Tricky was already waiting for her outside, squinting to see through the reinforced glass, as if he were expecting someone to visit.

But Krystal knew she had no time to exchange pleasantries.

She jumped out of her vehicle and quickly landed on her feet, much to the awe of Tricky, before interrogating her witness. Before the Earthwalker could say a word, she questioned him, hoping to receive an answer so she could end this dilemma once and for all.

"Tricky... where is Fox?"

But where she would normally expect an easy, immediate reply, instead she saw a frown creep up to the Earthwalker's face. Something was wrong.

"He's not here." he replied.

She looked at him with panic as she had begun to stammer. "He has to be here! He-"

"Go away," he growled.

Krystal stood in place, wide eyed and full of disbelief. Was she really wrong all this time? Did she really come all the way to this distant planet, just to waste her time in saving her love?

 _It can't be... there's no way!_

"What... What did you say?"

But Tricky didn't relent. He scrunched up his face before turning his tail, pausing in movement just to reiterate his point. "I said... _go away_."

This was the coldest the vixen had ever seen him. On the surface, he looked stoic and resolute, and his words radiated confidence as his words rolled off the tongue. But she knew. She knew that it was all _fake._ She knew that he had something to hide, that he was putting on a facade. Krystal could sense his doubt and anxiousness grow each second they spent together.

The vixen bowed her head as she silently fumed. Why? Why was he was wasting her time? This was time that could be spent searching for the vulpine she loved. Time spent reconciling with him, and making everything all better... but a lone Earthwalker decided to stand in her way. And time was running out.

To say that she was furious would be an understatement, and though only a few words were exchanged between the two, the vixen was about to lose her mind. Even a hint of the possibility that Tricky, one of the closest friends she ever had, could ever waste her time on finding the most important person in her life caused her to struggle violently. But at long last, she finally broke the silence, allowing her emotions to pour forth from her heart. _ **  
**_

"Tricky..." she muttered.

The Earthwalker froze in his tracks.

"How _dare_ you?"

He turned back to meet her gaze, staring into the most hateful eyes he'd ever seen, with no choice but to reveal a frightened look on his own face.

"How dare you lie to me?"

"I'm not-" he mumbled.

"You know better than to lie to a fucking telepath!" she snarled, refusing to let him speak. "I thought you knew me! I thought you were my friend!"

Tricky hung his head in shame as he took her words in silence. Maybe she was getting through to him?

"Now..." the vixen spoke in a calmer tone, "tell me where he is."

"I can't." he replied softly.

"Why?" she shot back." Why won't you tell me where he is?"

"I...I just can't."

Tricky's demeanor pulled completely opposite to his earlier expression, but still he refused to give her the answer. Still he continued to delay her. But this only caused the vixen to enrage even further.

 _Doesn't he know? Doesn't he know that I'm trying to save him?_

 _"_ Why are you doing this?!" she growled.

Nothing.

"Don't you know what's going to happen?"

Still nothing.

 _Everything I've done...everything I've worked for is going to be lost! I can't fail now... not when I'm so close!_

The vixen sniveled just before she pulled the Earthwalker's chin up to meet her gaze, revealing to him the emotionally distraught look in her eyes. She was sobbing now, but Tricky continued to resist. He couldn't bear to recognize what he was doing to her, so he looked away, hoping to drown her out.

But it was no use. She was getting through to him.

All she wanted was Fox back. She wanted his touch. She wanted his scent. She wanted him to be back in her arms, safe and sound. She would do anything to have him back, even if she had to beg for it.

For that reason, the vixen knew that she had to succeed. She only had one last chance to figure everything out before it was over for good, and she had to make sure that after what she was about to say... Tricky wouldn't be able to ignore her any longer after hearing it.

So she spoke with every ounce of emotion she had left.

"If you don't tell me where he is... "

The vixen swallowed before she continued.

"Then he is going to _**die**_."

* * *

 _It won't be much longer now._

That was what the vulpine thought. Was everything he's lived for worth it? At this point… was life even worth living?

Seconds...minutes...hours passed. Countless memories came and went as he sat with his toes in the sand, staring at the Saurian sunset as he tried to remember all the good and bad times that have occurred over the course of his life.

 _Was it all worth it?_

He saw Slippy and Falco's smiling faces at the academy as they looked back at him. He saw himself wrapped in the arms of his mother and his father at a young age. He saw Tricky, and he saw Katt, and he saw General Pepper, and he even saw Wolf, as he did when they met the vulpine for the first time. He saw their acknowledgements, and even their friendships, putting a grin on the vulpine's face.

And he saw Krystal. Those beautiful pools of turquoise as she stared into his soul the first time they met. He shut his eyes, hoping to relive that memory over and over and over. Oh, how the vulpine longed for her again. Her personality, her presence, her eloquence as her words rolled off the tongue at the very second they were uttered from her muzzle.

These were all cherished thoughts and memories, but the vulpine wouldn't think twice about trading them away in return for the pain they caused.

Peppy, his second father, left to pursue General Pepper's position. Slippy left for his family. Falco left for himself. Then he left again. Krystal, the vixen which he loved with every fiber of his being, left because she hated the very thought of the vulpine.

His parents... they left him behind.

Fox shook uncontrollably as he struggled to process his thoughts. His emotions continued to run rampant throughout the remnants of his twisted psyche as he made some brutal realizations.

His friends were gone.

His parents were gone.

He had nothing left but his life, and he had never felt more alone in his life.

Everything that had happened just these past years was enough to hurt him and to break him enough so that he became a sad shell of his former self, but it wasn't until now that he could truly see the world for what it was... a terrible place full of terrible people.

 _Like me._

The vulpine clenched his fists and grit his teeth as the gears in his head turned and turned. He realized that he should've just kept to himself... because after looking back on everything... the evidence all pointed to one simple conclusion.

 _I would rather be dead than to make those same mistakes again._

The vulpine stared at the blaster in his paws, admiring the sleek black frame of the gun as he ran his finger through the metallic cracks and crevices. It was reliable. It was decisive.

It was everything that he wasn't.

And at this point, he no longer felt anything. No happiness. No sorrow. No pain. No guilt. No remorse. All of his emotions washed away until he was left with nothing but confidence. Confidence that once drove him to succeed in the past. Now, it would continue to drive him towards the very end. He swore he would make sure of it.

"Trust your instincts," he mumbled to himself. His father's words always found their way to the vulpine's head at the right times.

Maybe it was time he trusted his instincts... just one last time. After all, nothing mattered anymore.

Not Lylat.

Not his friends and family.

And not Fox McCloud.

* * *

 _"W-What?"_

The Earthwalker's voice boomed all throughout the basin despite his hushed tone.

 _"_ Why didn't you tell me?!"

The sapphire vixen quickly shot back. "What?! How is this my fault?" She shook her head and sighed in frustration. "What's going on? Where is he?"

She gave Tricky the sternest look that she could manage. "And why did you lie to me?"

"He...he told me not to tell you...to tell you to get lost," he stammered. "I thought he just wanted to be alone!"

"Never mind that, Tricky. Just tell me where he went."

The Earthwalker oriented his head towards a clearing of trees. "He's been here for a while now... but I think he went that way last I saw him! Towards Cape Claw."

Without another word, the vixen began sprinting towards that direction. Cape Claw was not close, and it would take much more time to reach by foot than by air, but the vixen had to face the facts. She didn't want him to see her coming from miles away. Otherwise, he would be able to hide. Not to mention that she was running out time. As of now, Krystal needed every second she could get.

Krystal grimaced with every stride she took. This was her chance! This was her opportunity to make things better! Soon she would find him and they would make up their differences, and everything would be better. Things would be normal. Things would go back to the way before... because that was the way it was supposed to be.

But before she could get away, Tricky managed to seize her attention, if but only for a moment.

"Krystal." he whispered, stopping the vixen in her tracks.

Though the vixen desperately wanted to find the vulpine, she quickly spun around and met the Earthwalker's gaze, hoping to elicit a quick response from him before continuing on her journey.

"He told me he hurt you."

Tricky's expression was one of sadness and discontent.

"What happened?"

Krystal froze, clearly stunned by the question.

 _ **What happened?**_

Isn't it obvious?

 _She_ was what happened. She was the cause of all this. She was the source of all his pain, all his suffering, but the worst part was that even now the vulpine wouldn't even come close to realizing it.

In his eyes she was perfect, but that couldn't be any further from the truth. But now was not the time to focus on that. Krystal turned her back before shaking her head. "It's not his fault. He was just doing his best to love me. And I was the one who hurt him."

She stared at the ground for a few moments longer, before she went on her way. No further words were said between the two, but that was as expected. The vixen quickly broke into her stride, hoping to take off as fast as she possibly could, but she could feel the Earthwalker's gaze on her, watching, judging for what she could have possibly done to his best friend. And though the vixen didn't know if he had anything left to say, his expression spoke more about him than his previous words. He looked despondent and hopelessly worried, almost as if his whole world would turn upside down had something happened to the vulpine.

He cared more about Fox than she ever could have. Tricky would never have turned his back on Fox.

 _So why did I?_

Even now she wouldn't know how to answer that question.

For Krystal, every day it gets a little bit clearer why the vulpine did what he did... and every day a little more time was lost in trying to find him. And as the vixen continued to run and jump and climb her way towards Fox, Krystal couldn't help but think the same words over and over again until she mouthed them silently to herself.

"It's not your fault, Fox."

 _No matter what._

000

After what seemed like weeks of journeying...through forests and caves and jungle and any other obstacle that Sauria could have provided, the vixen finally reached her destination. Cape Claw. She panted and gasped for breath, but she knew she couldn't stop now. She was so close. All she had to do was find him, and bring him back.

 _He has to be here!_

But she had no sight of him. She set her gaze across every aspect of the beach, searching, hoping just one trace of the vulpine. She was so close! But despite the best of her efforts, she continued to find nothing out of the ordinary. The sands seemed as undisturbed as ever, and the bridges and tribal architecture looks as if they haven't been touched in ages. The palm trees on the beach continued to sway to and fro, and there was no sound to enter the vixen's ears but the whispering wind, and the rocking of the ocean waves. It was true, Cape Claw itself seemed as silent as ever, much to her dismay. At first glance, he was nowhere to be seen.

Quickly, the vixen's paranoia set in. Thoughts of doubt and anxiety formed so fast that she started to question the validity of her Earthwalker friend despite how much she trusted him.

 _ **What if he was elsewhere?**_

 _There's no way! Tricky wouldn't-_

 _ **What if Tricky was lying?**_

 _He's a friend! Why would he lie?_

 _ **What if Fox is dead?**_

It always came to this. The vixen scowled deeply at the thought, but she knew she had to stay optimistic if she were to find him, even if she was tired and exhausted. She would scour the landscape once more, twice more, even a hundred times more in order to find him, she would make sure of that! She looked up and down, left and right across the landscape, but it was getting darker by the second. And every second, her hope faded more and more, leaving her to become desperate and bitter. If she couldn't find him now...

 _Then it will have all been for nothing._

Krystal bowed her head in frustration, tears trailing down her cheeks as she wallowed in desperation, her thoughts beginning to plague her confidence.

 _ **What's the point of all this? He doesn't want to see you.**_

 _ **He's gone, and it's all your fault.**_

 _ **You could have saved him, had you cared.**_

And though these thoughts were far from helpful... she couldn't help but agree with every single one, she knew that much... because they were right. He really didn't want to see her. It really was her fault. And she _was_ selfish enough to turn her back on him, so so long ago.

But she could never feel sorrier in her life. Sorry for causing him pain and suffering. Sorry for mistreating him when his only flaw was loving her too much. Sorry for causing him heartache. Wasn't that enough? Wasn't there another way to repay him?

No. It was too late now. She had already done so much damage to that handsome, confident fox which she had loved so much, that not even a million sorry's could even fix a fraction of the hurt she had done to him. She wanted him back, so desperately, that she would give anything to see him again. To see the signature white stripe on his forehead, or his smiling muzzle, or even just the tip of his ear would cause the vixen's heart to skip a beat. Why?

Because she loved him.

It was hard to deny now, and every little leg in the step of this long, arduous journey gave her more insight into what she wanted, and what she had lost. And looking back, the amount of care and love she had received from him alone was second to none.

 _How could I actually have left him?_

Negative thoughts and feelings lurked in every single corner of her mind. Her doubt, her frustration, her fear, her depression... they all began to hit her mentality in one fell swoop, until the vixen was brought down to her knees in shame. She had let her friends down. She had let herself down. But worst of all, she had let _him_ down, and not once did her mind fail to remind her.

 _Why did I even bother coming here?_

 _What difference will any of this make?_

 _She's gone now... and it's all my fault._

 _I hate myself._

That is, until she suddenly realized... that these thoughts were not her own.

 _That's his voice!_

She had no idea how long it had taken for her to realize this, but she began to examine her surroundings more and more.

 _Just one more time. I'll find him, I promise!_

It was always see the vulpine that she loved, and now that she could hear him... there would be no mistake that he would turn up. With a surge of confidence and certainty the vixen searched and searched and searched for him as she scoured yet another sand dune or tree... and as if a higher being had suddenly answered her call, Krystal had suddenly spotted a lone figure as the sun's dying rays obstructed her vision. She didn't know who, or what she was squinting at... but somehow she knew it was him.

There was Fox McCloud, the hero of Lylat. He sat staring at the sunset across the horizon, watching the vibrant orange tints of the sun merge into the cool blue of the ocean.

There was Fox McCloud, in one of his most vulnerable moments.

"Oh gods..." came the vixen's voice as she saw the state of mind he was in. From his expression alone, she could see that he was as tired and exhausted as she was... not to mention how depressed and morose he looked. His physical health was failing, she knew that much... but his thoughts told the vixen much more than at first glance. She sensed so much of his emotion: the anger, the guilt, the pain, and especially the regret in waves yet to come, that it was no other conclusion to make at this point.

Fox truly wanted his life to end.

She desperately wanted to comfort him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but she knew that it would be a lie. The past was in the past, and as much as she would like to believe otherwise, there was no changing the pain that they've inflicted to each other.

But still her feet were glued to the ground.

 _Now's your chance to make things right!_

 _ **What if he hates you?**_

 _He can't hate you! He loves you more than anything!_

 _ **You were the one that did this to him!**_

She muttered under her breath as she cursed this world.

 _How could this happen?_

 _ **You made this happen.**_

 _It wasn't supposed to be this way!_

 _ **It's too late. Look at what you've done.**_

Even now... the vixen continued to hide, locked in everlasting battle against her own twisted psyche as she observed the suffering vulpine who was so fixated on the sunset. She didn't know what to say or what to do. Every second of deliberation lead to a minute, and every minute an hour for the vixen at odds with herself. That is... until a thought so subtle breezed past the vixen, that she wouldn't have any other choice but to do something about it.

 _Mom...Dad... I'm sorry._

She couldn't understand. But after what seemed like an eternity... after she was lost inside the storm of thoughts thrashing around in her head... a split second allowed the sapphire vixen to recognize the metallic object that was lodged within the vulpine's fingers.

And it was pointed directly at his chest.

It was then that she finally understood what he had meant. Krystal snapped back to reality in an instant, and screamed his name with all the strength that she had left, causing the vulpine's ears to perk up, if only but for a second.

But it was too late.

A thundering _crack_ echoed across the beach in all directions, the unmistakable sound of a gunshot, before it all went silent.

* * *

 _Sorry for the late upload guys. I try to upload a chapter within 2 weeks, but I've had a couple of issues this past week._

 _Anyway, leave a review if you can please. Thanks for reading._


	8. Leave Me

It took a second for the vulpine to realize what he had done. Everything had felt so surreal by then, that he didn't know what to think.

He was sure that he should be dead now. He aimed right at his own heart... but something had caught him by surprise, he knew that much. In the end... it was impossible to ignore the sole fact as to why he was still standing.

He had missed.

But could it really be? Could it really have been Krystal, calling out for him?

He heard her, he knew that much, but he wasn't sure whether the voice was real or not. It could have been fake for all he could have known. His mind had played tricks on him so relentlessly these past few days, that he was used to it by now... but when he heard the soothing, charming voice that could only belong to the cobalt vixen, he had no choice but to find out for sure. And so, he took one last painful glance towards the direction of her voice, seeing that it was indeed the vixen who he loved more than anything in the galaxy, before bowing his head. That image of the sapphire vixen running towards him with tears in her eyes would be ingrained forever in his mind, if he would live to see another day.

He inhaled deeply before looking down at his body, taking in the contents of what he saw before doubling over in pain. There was a gaping hole in his chest, and his shirt was already soaked deeply in his blood. But he had missed indeed, and he would live... albeit just a little bit longer.

The vulpine slowly stumbled and fell backwards onto the sandy dunes with a groan, allowing the soft grains to catch his body. He found that he couldn't move or even speak, but no matter what, he couldn't bear to take his eyes off the frantic vixen that was sprinting towards him.

The vixen that he loved. The vixen that wanted nothing to do with him.

 _Why is she here?_

He had hoped that the last thing he would ever see would be her face... especially those azure orbs for eyes that used to light up every time she saw him, but that was a long, long time ago. Nevertheless, it was a cruel twist of fate that his wish be fulfilled in the worst of ways. He didn't want this to happen. He wanted to disappear...to make sure that his departure from this world was as discreet as possible.

But this... this was anything but disappearing.

And out of all the people in the world that could have shown up at the worst possible moment... it had to be Krystal. Why? Why did she come? Didn't she hate him? It didn't matter to her whether he lived or died... so why was she here?

 _I don't understand. Am I... in the wrong?_

She looked different now. He didn't see the happiness and joy in her eyes as he had remembered. He saw pain. He saw suffering. In them, he saw fear... fear that he himself had caused once again, much to his dismay, and at this point, it was no longer the throbbing pain in his chest that caused him pain. That wasn't it. It was the vixen's reaction that truly hurt the vulpine. And although Fox could feel the physical pain growing, spreading throughout his torso and the rest of his body, none of it could even compare to the pain he realized he was dealing to her. It wasn't just heartache. This was more... much more than the usual bullshit that they each had to deal with throughout the years.

He was dying in her arms.

 _If Krystal was willing to follow me out here with all my effort to avoid her... if she_ _truly cared about me after all this time, then what I've just done to her..._

Her worst nightmare.

 _But I thought I was doing the right thing._

All this time, the vulpine thought that she despised him with every fiber of her being. That she couldn't care any less about what had happened to him. And now... as he lay in a pile of his own blood soaked sand, he couldn't help but continue to wonder why. Why she was here... or why she cared so much. Why the universe could have been so cruel to allow something like this to happen.

He saved her. And then he broke her beyond repair.

And throughout his pondering, he continued to stare at her. Even when she screamed through her communicator for help... even when she charged with all the effort she had left to spare... even when she looked disheveled and exhausted and like she had been through many literal hells in order to find him...

 _She still looked as beautiful as ever._

But why? It always came back to this. Why couldn't she just leave him alone..? Isn't this what she wanted?

He couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through her head at this point, but time was slowing down. Now the vulpine could only hear warbles of her yells as he lay on the ground, bleeding profusely through his chest. His time was coming.

But he didn't regret his decision. The only regret he had was not picking a better hiding spot, so she wouldn't have to see him die... but it really was too late now.

Soon... he would be gone. There was no changing that, no matter how much she begged and pleaded and cried.

Because...

 _It's all for the best_.

000

"No, no, NO!" the vixen yelled as she dashed across the landscape.

 _This can't be happening. This can't be happening. Dear gods... don't let this happen._

Every second she wasted running to him was another second he lost to live... and she had so much farther to go. She didn't know whether or not it was a hallucination, but the distance between them stretched out for miles and miles when in reality he was only a few yards away. She was ready to collapse she was so tired and exhausted... but that wasn't even the worst part.

Fear.

She had never felt so much of it in her entire life. Fear that she would lose him... that she would spend the rest of her days cold and alone. Fear that she would lose her will to live if he were to die.

Her body shook and trembled from the anxiety as the adrenaline ran its path, coursing through her veins, but it wouldn't stop anytime soon. And all throughout the way, only one thought continued to pervade her mind as she allowed it to become entangled within the grasps of that fear.

 _I've failed you._

All the blood and sweat and tears she had ever shed for him would have been for nothing now. The vixen could see it now. She would have to live with this burden forever... as the one who killed her lover.

Finally she reached him. In her mind, maybe there was a slim chance that he was alright. That everything was fine and that he could turn out to be okay. Maybe he had missed or it was a warning shot to tell her to stay away. She needed a reason... anything that she could believe so that she could assure herself that he was unharmed.

She couldn't have been more wrong in her entire life.

 _Fox... no..._

Tears immediately formed within her turquoise eyes as she took in his appearance. There was Fox McCloud, the hero of Lylat, lying in the sand on his last dying breaths. His right arm covered his torso, but from the look of the bloodstains on his flight suit and the sand around him, she knew it couldn't be good. Once she brushed his arm away... the result only confirmed her own fear.

 _Oh gods..._

The vixen knelt down over the vulpine's body, allowing her tears to drip relentlessly over his form. She placed her hand on his cheek, feeling it grow colder by the second... her arm trembling now as she shuddered with every single breath she took.

His eyes became glassy and dull while his eyelids began to droop. His breaths became shorter. Every exhale seemed to cause him more and more pain. It was obvious now. He didn't have much time left.

And it was all because of her.

She immediately took the red scarf around his neck and began to put pressure on his wound, but it didn't even occur to her that she hadn't spoken a single word to him. So much was happening that she didn't even know what to do, never mind what to say, but before she could manage to utter a single syllable in his presence, the vulpine began to speak, much to the vixen's surprise. Through all this, through all the pain and suffering and torture that he had been through as a result of her actions, Fox managed to breathe as he choked out a whisper, allowing the vixen to see the words as they barely left his muzzle.

 **"Krystal... I'm sorry."**

But she couldn't handle it. The vixen had been through so much. She fought through wars with Anglars and Aparoids. She fought her own personal battle against General Scales. She lost her family, her people, and her entire planet... but even then, nothing could have prepared her enough for this day.

 _ **You did this to him!**_

 _ **You caused him this pain!**_

 _ **It's because of you that he's going to die!**_

She had to agree with her conscience. She did hurt him and she did cause him to suffer. She did give him the worst heartache. And she _did_ manipulate him and torture him and twist him around like he was a piece of twine wrapped around her finger. But that wasn't even the worst part.

The worst part, she realized, was that _even now_ , he was still apologizing for it.

 _Even now, he's trying to do me a favor._

She continued to put on pressure with his scarf, but his blood was gushing through, closing through the gaps and crevices of the warm fabric. It just wasn't enough.

 _I never meant for this to happen!_

"Fox..." she mewled, "why did you do this?" The vixen started to sob now, her chest quaking with every breath she took.

The vulpine whispered with what life he had left.

"Please... just leave me. I hurt you."

She gasped in disbelief at his words. "What-"

"I deserve this."

 **I deserve this.**

His voice echoed in the vixen's head for what seemed like an eternity before she realized the true extent of the damage she did. She never knew how bad it was. Bad enough that he hated himself. That he deserved all the pain, all the torment he received from the vixen. That he deserved to be thrown away. That he deserved to die. How could he possibly think that?

 _Nobody deserves that, especially you!_

 **"Don't say that!"**

She was surprised at how quickly she had responded to him. No sooner did the words leave the vixen's mouth than she had started to scold herself for yelling at him. But she couldn't stop now... the words just kept coming as she struggled to reason with him. "It's not your fault! It was never your fault to begin with!" she cried, trying to wipe her tears away with a free paw.

 _Do you know why, Fox?_

"Because it's mine!"

The vixen choked up in emotion, her sobs interrupting her as she spoke, as she desperately tried to save him. Never did she take her gaze off of her hero, not for a single second.

She could see it now... everything they've been through together, hand in hand. Sauria. The war against the Aparoids. Even in the battles against the Anglars. Countless memories of them together no matter the situation. Fox was there with her every second of the way.

He gave so much for her. He gave her his life. He gave her his heart and his mind. He gave her everything she had ever wanted in this cruel world, and at this point, it was better to wonder what he wouldn't give for her.

She brought her face closer to his, staring deeply into his eyes. "Fox," she tearfully replied, "everything is going to be okay."

All the vulpine could do in response was nod and put on a faint smile. But no matter how much she reassured him that everything would be alright, even she knew that it would be a lie. She could see that now, as his eyes began to lose their color, conveying that her worst nightmare was coming true.

She beginning to lose him, whether she liked it or not.

"I'm _sorry_ Fox. I'm so, so sorry." she sobbed. "Please... don't leave me."

 _Because..._

 **"I** _ **love**_ **you."**

Krystal's teardrops continued to soak the fur on the vulpine's face as he stood on the last leg of his life. There was nothing else she could say that would make him or her or anyone else feel better at this point. Nothing came to mind. Instead, the vixen cried.

All she could do was cry.

000

 _ **I love you.**_

The vulpine's eyes widened in shock when she said it.

At first, he was amazed. Amazed that it only took her three words before he could feel his own tears begin to trickle down his cheek. For the past four years, those three words were what he wanted.

He had felt so desperate since then, hoping and begging for her to come back as he struggled his way to finish what life had started for him. He felt like he had no purpose... like a lost, wayward traveler endlessly wandering the ruins of a war-torn world. Never had he felt so weak in his life. Never had he felt so alone and so unloved.

Fox didn't know why. Why he continued to live, to fight, to press on with this horrible nightmare that they all called life was beyond him now. But after hearing that... those three words that proved to him that he was needed and that he was cared for and loved, he realized something.

This was what he wanted. This was all he ever wanted from his blue angel.

He knew that he could've died in peace if he wanted to. But now, after seeing his vixen suffer like this... never had he felt so much regret in his life. For hurting himself. For hurting his friends. And especially for hurting that sweet, compassionate sapphire vixen that kneeled over him, struggling to reduce his pain.

 _How could I have done this?_

He knew now. He knew just how much she had suffered, now even more so just for him. Having him die wouldn't help her move on with her life. No.

It would destroy her.

 _I can't leave her like this!_

But what could he do? The only thing he did was fight the pain. In times like these, that was the only thing that he _could_ do.

So he fought. The vulpine grit his teeth and clenched his paws until his fists were full of sand, catching Krystal's attention and causing her eyes to widen in surprise... her efforts redoubling now in trying to stop the flow of blood from his chest. He struggled to keep his eyes open... to stay awake for her. He needed to stay awake.

The vulpine fought and fought and fought. But he didn't need to struggle to remember what he had with her. Ever since he saved her on Sauria, every single waking moment he ever had was spent with the vixen. Countless little adventures and conversations populated his mind in an instant… and he wanted it back so desperately.

He fought for his memories... and for his old life with her. He fought because he loved her.

 _Because... that's the way it should be!_

But it was so hard to struggle. It was hard not to die with the most beautiful vixen in the galaxy beside him. It was a fantasy with Krystal by his side now… and she was the last thing he ever wanted to see before it was all over. He wanted to sleep... to dream of those better days that they shared together, and life was merciful enough, to grant him his last wish.

 _I wanted to be with her... to grow old with her. I would've never left her side..._

But he just couldn't take it anymore. The physical pain was unbearable now… much more than the heartache and the bitter emotions that he'd endured all this time.

He had been through too much... and though he never took his gaze off of the vixen's face, he could see a glimmer of light from the last remnants of the Saurian sunset through the corners of his eyes. It was growing brighter and brighter, clouding his vision. Yet, as the sunset faded past the ocean horizon, the light in his eyes lingered.

His eyelids began to grow heavier, and his strength started to fade. Sleep was about to take him, and he couldn't complain anymore.

He could only accept his fate.

 _I'm sorry Krystal... for everything._

The vixen shouted and screamed his name, but her yells grew fainter until the vulpine's hearing was completely silenced. The pain was gone now. His senses were being stripped from him one at a time… but for a second, he felt fine.

He began to murmur something as the light grew brighter and brighter. And yet, for a second... the world stopped spinning. There was no sand or wind or any trace of the crashing ocean waves. There was no Sauria, or Corneria, or Venom, or Lylat now. All that was left, was Krystal and Fox.

Still staring deeply into the vixen's soul with his half lidded eyes, the vulpine whispered to her, making sure the words were as gentle as the sleep coming to take him away.

 _ **"I love you."**_

At long last, his eyelids shut as his world was slowly enveloped in white.

That was what he wanted to say, all along.

* * *

 _Well guys, here's another update. Work has been awful for me lately, and I apologize for my delay. I would try to pump out these chapters as fast as I can, but I can barely find the time and energy to do this._

 _Anyway, I had hoped to make this chapter twice as long before I uploaded it, but I suppose another cliffhanger will do.  
_

 _It was really hard for me to write this chapter, so tell me your thoughts and leave a review if you can!_

 _Before I go, I just wanted to say thanks to XCABAL, Jack64, LadyofStarFox, and Troy Groomes, as well as my guest reviewers for giving me input. You've all been so helpful for me in writing my first fic, and I'm very thankful for your feedback._


	9. Lost

...

 _Where am I?_

The question echoed through Fox's head over and over as he tried to collect his bearings, his head throbbing harder and harder as he struggled to move. From touch and feel alone, it didn't take a genius to tell him that he was somewhere else. The air felt cool and the ground felt colder than before... and definitely more metallic.

Slowly, the vulpine opened his eyes, making sure to squint his eyes so the light wouldn't attack his pupils, but his conclusion was right.

He really was elsewhere.

He had remembered seeing a sunset... a glorious mixture of orange and blue as it faded away in the distance, but what he saw in its place was nothing less than horrifying.

There was no sky. There was no sun. There was no field of flowers or grass or leaves. There was no sandy beach or the great vastness of the ocean expanse. This was not Sauria. There was nothing here.

Fox stood up in a haze, his heart pounding and his vision more disoriented than ever before. He looked to his left. He looked to his right. He knew that he had just woken up, but even he could see the truth. It was all the same. No matter where he looked, there was nothingness in its place. There was no light source, and yet he could see. But at the same time, what was there to see at all? Everything was gone.

He looked down to his chest, seeing nothing but the usual attire. There was his flight suit and his jacket, his usual combat boots, and even his dad's scarf. Everything was fine... until he noticed that even his wound had disappeared.

It was then that he had remembered. All the pain, all the suffering he had endured these last couple of years came back to him in an instant... and just thinking about it had made him grow weary.

He could have had the opportunity to turn back, to rethink his actions and embrace life again as if nothing had ever happened. But once he pulled the trigger on his blaster... his fate was sealed.

The vulpine stared intently at where his wound should have been. It was true. He left his friends behind like they left him. He threw the remainder of what life he had left away in one fell swoop. He went to Sauria to relax and to reminisce, but ended up hating himself and loathing himself more than ever before. So he did the only thing that he could do.

He shot himself.

But what he expected to happen next seemed to cause him more regret than ever before. He thought that he was finally alone... he'd counted on that happening, but someone found him. And not just anyone.

 _Krystal._

Fox clenched his fists until his claws dug into flesh. The sapphire vixen had been the main subject of his dreams every single day for the past four years of his life. Thinking about her constantly and reliving his own nightmare over and over again had managed to reduce him to nothing more than a worthless husk, stuck in the former glory of an arrogant war hero. It was enough for him. Enough to want to escape this living hell. Enough to want to die. But that wasn't even the worst part.

Like a cruel, sick joke, life had just managed to send her his way before he was gone for good... to remind him of what he could have had... of what he used to have, before he fucked everything up and drove her away. He hated it more than anything.

A sick pit in his stomach formed as he remembered the expression on her face as he fell.

Fear. Panic. Horror.

Every single emotion that could have possibly conveyed that she still cared about him... that she could still _love_ him. But how could she?

 _ **To me, you're no worse than Andross.**_

He knew those words... spoken by the very same vixen he vowed never to forget. He had convinced himself for so long that she hated him... that she would never even look at him, much less say his name. With her behavior in the past, after seeing how she truly treated him, he couldn't help but make that simple conclusion. She couldn't care less whether he was dead or not... but maybe she was lying.

Or maybe he was lying to himself.

But now he had an even bigger issue at hand.

 _What the hell is happening?_

Neither his clothes nor his fur had traces of his blood, much to his dismay. He continued trying to look for his wound, using his fingers to survey his torso, but he felt nothing but solid flesh. The vulpine quickly stood and looked around in confusion, but there was nothing in sight for miles and miles on end. This was a vast stretch of nothingness... but other than that, he felt perfectly fine.

 _Am I dreaming?_

He may as well be, but he had to find out for sure... beginning to pace around fruitlessly to figure out where he was, but no matter how he looked at it, it seemed that he was trapped and confined in this... prison. Things only seemed to get more and more tense as anxiety set itself upon Fox's mind. His footsteps echoed in all directions as he tread endlessly to find a clue, to get out of this desolate place. What he thought were a few seconds quickly became minutes. What were minutes quickly became hours. Finally he dropped to his knees in exhaustion, bowing his head. He was in the same place as before. No matter how long or far he ran, the evidence all pointed towards one simple conclusion.

He was stuck here, whether he liked it or not.

Yet, at least it was a fitting fate for someone who he had thought so lowly of.

Or so it had seemed until a voice had sounded behind him. "Fox," it said. "Is that you?" prompting the vulpine to flinch in place.

Slowly he turned around to meet his onlooker, but Fox hesitated to reply, wide eyed and in shock at the sight. The voice belonged to a vulpine, not much older than he was. Yet, for a second, the vulpine thought he was staring at a reflection of himself.

 _That fur color... and that white stripe..._

Even his clothes were the same.

All things aside, the only noticeable difference between the two was a pair of black shades that rested between the former's eyes, but even Fox could see what they hid...a pair of eyes, which were emerald green, much like his very own. All in all, Fox stood in silence, stunned with his gaping maw while he continued to absorb his acquaintance's appearance, though it was ultimately useless.

It was no problem for Fox to tell who this was... even after twenty of the longest years of his life.

Slowly he opened his mouth to speak, prompting the older of the two to grin as Fox finally came to his realization.

"Dad...?" he whispered.

James McCloud placed a hand on the younger vulpine's shoulder, his smile now wider than ever, before he heartily responded.

"It's good to see you, son."

000

She failed. She failed him... the most beautiful soul in all of Lylat... the only one would sacrifice anything and everything just for her.

 _I love you._

He said it. He whispered it as delicately as he could, so that she could finally know, once and for all, how he felt about her. After what he said... after he poured out his heart and soul to her, those three words were all that echoed through her head at this point as she knelt over the vulpine's body, continuing to sob, continuing to shed her tears onto his face.

 _ **I love you.**_

The worst part was that she knew.

It was true. She knew that he loved her. She knew that all he ever wanted was for her to be happy. For her to be safe. She knew it, all along.

And it was unforgivable, what she did to him.

All this time... she whittled him down until he was next to nothing. She sneered at him. She scowled at him. She refused to acknowledge his very presence. To add insult to injury, she joined his very enemies out of spite, out of hatred for something that he thought was the right thing to do. All this time he endured all of it... every single bit of her hatred and anger until it finally convinced him of what he thought all along. That he wasn't good enough for her... that he would _never_ be good enough for her.

He thought that he was weak... but even then, he continued to love her. Even after all of her violence towards him, all of her hate and spite and malice towards his very being... he never stopped caring about her. She was everything to him, and he would gladly give his life for her under any circumstance. But what did she do?

She treated him like _shit_.

She couldn't deplore what he did. He just wanted to get away from the pain and the guilt... even if he wanted to die. Then, he would be away from her now, where she could hurt him no longer.

And now... as she stared as his motionless form, the endless amount of tears in her eyes continuing to relentlessly obstruct her very vision, she couldn't help but hate herself now. She hated herself with every single ounce of her will that she had left.

He loved her...

And she broke him. She broke him more than the death of his parents... more than Andross ever could have hoped. She broke him until there was no Fox McCloud left.

 _ **Please... just leave me. I hurt you.**_

She did this to him. She caused him so much pain, so much heartache these past few years, but only now could she see what she truly did to him. Now, there was nothing left of him. He knew he couldn't have her... but he needed her in his life. That's why he came back to Sauria... to experience what he had with her before, to experience everything that he missed these past couple of years. He missed her, and he needed her more than anyone, more than anything in the galaxy.

She turned her back on him, and his heart couldn't take it. Because of that, he looked for the next best thing.

 _ **I deserve this.**_

There was nothing else to say.

She cried and she begged. She hoped and she prayed. None of it would make single difference, for Krystal couldn't even to begin to hear her own sobs and whimpers at this point. Her thoughts were just too loud and insistent to focus on anything else.

 _How could I? How could I have done this... to the best thing that ever happened to me?_

He helped her when she needed it most. He saved her when she needed saving. All of his love and care for her in the past... did it really just vanish into thin air?

 _All this time I was just looking for a reason to hate him..._

 _ **Now look what happened.**_

His body lay sprawled out across the ground, bloodstains deep into the depths of his fur and clothes. He was unconscious now... but he was still breathing. But he wouldn't be breathing for long.

 _ **You'll learn to live without me. Like I had to live without you.**_

It was that very thought, that she could possibly lose him, the most selfless thing that ever happened to her, that Krystal let loose a deep wail from her chest. These past few years, she realized, have been nothing without him. There was no love in her life. There was only pain...only bitterness and regret. He left a hole in her heart, and that was something that only he could fill. She wanted him.

No. She needed him. She needed him back, more than ever.

 _Even after everything that I've done... even after all of the pain that I've caused him..._

 _ **I'm trying to arrange for your staff to get back to you. It's not much, but I hope I can do just one thing right for you before I'm gone.**_

 _He never stopped caring about me... even when he had nothing left to lose._

The vixen suddenly halted her cries at her realization, stunned with awe with what she had remembered. "My staff," she mumbled. It could save him.

 _It could save him!_

The vixen quickly pulled it off her back, staring at its hues of gold and indigo in wonder. She clutched it tightly within the grasps of her fingers, feeling the cracks and crevices of its battle-hardened frame as it sunk into her palm. With that in mind, Krystal chanced a gaze at his face. That sweet face that would light up as he caught a glimpse of her in his vision. That face that would look away with a blush after she caught him staring at her. It was because of him that the galaxy was a better place, but it didn't deserve him, she knew that much. Nobody deserved him.

Nobody, especially her.

She could see a trail of blood leading from the corner of his muzzle as it stained his perfectly white teeth, and each and every inch of his orange fur that began from his jawline. She could see rapid rise and fall of his chest as he struggled to push through the empty chokes of his shallow labored breaths. And how was it possible not to see the blood? The sand dunes, his fur, and even the remnants of his tattered clothes were so soaked with blood at this point, that the vixen couldn't last even a few seconds of looking at his surroundings before she started to cry.

And yet, she could see how peaceful he looked in this state. She turned away, knowing that even without consciousness, he continued to smile that smile... one that conveyed that he had enough of this world. He was done with it all... finally free of the regret and guilt that he had long suffered from. This was what he wanted, and this was what he sought for, all along.

Krystal choked back a sob and a sniffle before she looked back at his face.

She took up her usual stance and lowered her arms, trembling and quivering with anxiety as she directed her staff towards the gaping hole in his chest. If he lost any more blood at this point, he wouldn't be able to live... so she would have to cauterize his wound for him to survive.

 _He's still alive. But if I fail..._

She'd already caused all this. It was because of her that he was lying on the ground, his clothes and body drenched in a pool of his own blood.

What she was about to do could be the worst injustice she would ever commit in her entire life. But if it meant saving him... then there was no reason not to go through with it. But this... she realized...

This meant that she could _kill_ him.

The sapphire vixen felt that tremendous pressure as she froze up, a ball and chain of astronomical proportions weighing down upon her body and soul... but it served as a steady reminder for what she knew all along. Time was running out, and she needed to do something now... or he would be gone forever.

She took a deep breath, feeling the last of her adrenaline coursing through her veins. In the end, she wouldn't need to hesitate a single moment before she made her decision... even though she knew that its consequences would forever weigh down upon what could be the remainder of her life, or whatever hell the rest of it could be. Why?

Because she couldn't live without him. Because she loved him. Because without each other, they were nothing... and with one another, they were everything.

That was the reason all along. That was why she searched for him. That was why she grieved for him. That was the reason why she should go to the ends of the galaxy for him.

And it was because of him... that she took a leap of faith.

The entire frame of her body quivered and shook as she struggled to keep her arms steady. She had trouble keeping her eyes open as the sweat from her brow mixed with her years. Her knees began to buckle immensely from exhaustion. Krystal ached as she cried. She wanted more than anything to rest... but she knew that she couldn't stop now. With the last of her resolve, she oriented her staff as carefully as she could, making sure that the head of its gold tip aligned directly with that of the vulpine's wound, before she finally channeled the entirety of her focus and mental fortitude into her final task.

 _Fox... I know you've suffered so much for me. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you. It was because of you that I'm alive... and it was because of you that life was worth living._

Krystal shut her eyes with a whimper, terrified at the thought of what would happen next.

 _I don't deserve you Fox. But even though I don't deserve you at all, I'll never stop loving you._

At last, she fired.

A beam of scarlet hue, almost akin to that of the shades and tones of Solar, discharged from the head of her staff before it quickly enveloped his chest. With crimson sparks, the emanating light from her target quickly radiated out across the rest of the beach, so much so that it was almost impossible for the vixen to see what was happening. But she could certainly smell it.

The vixen scowled as the odor of singed fur and dried blood wafted through her nostrils, and she grimaced at the aches and spasms she received during the whole process. But that pain was nothing. Not when it was compared to that of her thoughts.

 _ **If it weren't for you, he would never have been in danger.**_

 _ **He's dying, because of you.**_

 _ **You're nothing but a traitor.**_

 _ **How could you think you could fix this?**_

They were right. It _was_ her fault he was dying. It _was_ her fault that all of this happened. She could have taken him back. She could have fixed this whenever she liked, no matter the place or time. She took advantage of the vulpine since the very beginning, and even now at the very end, even now on his deathbed... she wasn't respecting his wishes. In her eyes, she couldn't help but agree that she was a traitor. She was the most spiteful, jealous, malicious traitor that she knew...

But that didn't mean that she couldn't fix this. She had to try for him.

 _Every single decision he's ever made was with me in mind._

The least that she could do, was make just one decision for his sake.

And so she powered on and on and on in order to maintain the streak of light while she was at the brink of exhaustion, feeling more and more of her sweat drop from her brow every second as the warmth from the continued stream of heat became more and more unbearable. Her hands burned. Her fur on her face began to singe. That wasn't all. The tension became palpable at this point as Krystal struggled to maintain enough focus even to stay awake. But this wasn't about her. This was about Fox. This was about her vulpine, who deserved more than life itself.

All this time, her old self thought that he wasn't good enough for her... that he would never be good enough for her. Now, she realized, that it was quite the opposite.

 _I could never be good enough for you._

But she could still try. What felt like an eternity to the vixen had eventually passed, before her posture began to break, and with it her the last of her strength. Finally the vixen's body gave out. The beam from her staff had stopped as quickly as it had begun, but what it revealed in its place was no less than spectacular. Krystal's heart skipped a beat when she saw the fruit of her labor.

His bleeding had stopped, and the wound on his chest had been replaced by darkened mass of skin and fur.

It was almost unexplainable what had just occurred, but she was so exhausted that she couldn't even attempt to comprehend what she had done. Before she knew it, the vixen had passed out next to him, entranced by the rise and fall of his chest, and accompanied by his sleeping face.

"I'm sorry Fox..." she whispered gently through the vulpine's ears as sleep began to take her away."I'm so, so sorry..." She draped her arm across his chest before she drifted off, satisfied that he was once again within her embrace.

The last thing she heard were the soft whirs of Arwings landing somewhere off in the distance... but at least he was safe in her arms.

He was safe... and that was all that mattered to her.

* * *

I know it's been a couple weeks since I've last updated, so sorry about the long wait, everyone. With real life and the holidays in the way, it's been hard for me to find time to write.

Anyway, please leave a review if you can and tell me your thoughts!


	10. Realization

It was a miracle for Fox, to see his father alive again.

To see his father walking towards him, to see his father speaking to him as if he had never left at all… to say that the vulpine was shocked was an understatement. And it was all obvious to James, judging from the dumbfounded look on his son's face.

He wasn't prepared for this. He wasn't prepared for any of this at all.

Fox struggled to say something, anything to his father, but he could only stammer as the gears in his head grinded against each other to come up with a single coherent thought.

"Dad..." he whispered.

The last time he had ever seen his father was right before he had left for his mission... to find out what Andross was doing. He told him. It was for the good of Corneria... it was for the safety of his people. And it was for his mother.

He remembered that gut wrenching feeling when he had first heard of the news. That he would be sent to a barren wasteland on the edge of Lylat, the likes of which no one would ever dare to venture. That there was a chance that he wouldn't return. He remembered that feeling well.

His father said that he would be fine, and that it was all routine.

 _I'll be fine._

He remembered his father saying that with a signature smirk on his face. He had a backup plan. He had his teammates. He had the Arwing. Nothing could go wrong.

Back then, his father was the only thing he had left. After his mother passed, they had mourned together. They had grieved together. Together they spent Christmas, their birthdays, and every other holiday that he could think of with grief-stricken despair. And for a while, the times they had spent with each other were nothing but miserable. But eventually, things would begin to pick up again... because at least they still had each other.

Until one day... everything went wrong.

All he wanted his father back. All he wanted to hear was the sound of his voice... to hear that he was safe and sound after a successful mission more than anything...

All he got was a fucking letter.

All it could do was confirm his suspicions. His father was killed. He would never be seen ever again. His mother was long gone. He had never faced so much sadness, so much soul crushing pain in his heart as he finally realized... that he was truly alone in this fucking world.

But he had to live on. It's what his parents would have wanted, after all. To see their beloved son grow older and wiser and become the man that they knew he could be. To bring honor to the McCloud family name. He couldn't refuse their wishes... he loved them more than life itself.

And so he continued on... keeping up his studies at the Cornerian Flight Academy and forever improving himself as an aspiring pilot. He strived for the top as the greatest that the world had ever known while trying to repress the sense of loss that he had felt every single day for the rest of his life... a kind of loss that the world would never know. Flying was just a way to get him to take his mind off of these things. Flying was all he had left.

It wasn't enough. It was never enough for him to move on from these thoughts. And now, after seeing his father again, he couldn't help but break down in the worst of ways.

"Dad," he whimpered. Tears had already begun to trickle from his eyes and soak the fur on his cheeks as he had said that single word.

 _Dad._

"Shh." James shushed him, before pulling him into a warm embrace. Fox buried his face and muzzle into his father's jacket while he silently cried, meeting his father's embrace with one equal in warmth and longing. They held each other for what seemed like days, allowing Fox to savor what he had missed for the past twenty years.

His love.

His advice.

His silent, confident presence that made whomever he was around feel at ease.

Fox missed him. He missed his father so much. James couldn't even possibly begin to comprehend how much his son had missed him.

Before breaking away, the older vulpine met his son's gaze with his own, showing him the vibrant, solemn eyes he had yet to see in some time. "Let's take a walk," he said, reaching out and placing his hand on his son's shoulder. "There's somebody I would like you to meet."

Even amidst all the tears that were still visible on his cheeks, the younger vulpine couldn't help but feel a small grin slowly emerge from his muzzle. No matter how much he suffered… no matter how much pain he felt at the moment… just hearing his father speak to him was enough to bring a genuine smile to his face.

He couldn't remember the last time they've shared a moment like this.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this happy.

000

Fox was in the sick bay.

No visitors would be allowed. Not Peppy. Not Slippy. Not Falco.

And not even Krystal.

All any of them could do was silently watch through a tinted glass window as ROB meticulously operated, treating the vulpine's wounds with careful precision and accuracy. He was alive. They all knew that much.

But he looked as lifeless as ever.

His face was pale. The once colorful orange-reddish luster of his fur had dulled and deadened, with each and every individual hair on his body blackened and flush with self-deprecation. He looked far skinnier and weaker than anyone could ever have imagined... that there wasn't even a single doubt now about everything that the vulpine had went through.

It had only been a couple of hours since he was admitted to the sick bay. How many had passed, however, the vixen lost track. She remembered that the whole team earlier had stood in her place, as they too let their minds wander in complete silence. Not a single word was uttered. The heroes of Lylat could only continue to ponder soundlessly at what had occurred over the course of this entire week, but it didn't take a telepath to know what any of them were thinking.

They were no heroes. They were failures.

No man left behind, they all once said. They knew how he felt about losing her. They knew how he would try to pull something like this, but when the time came to act, their true colors had shown. Each and every single one of them knew that they couldn't care any less about the vulpine.

He struggled. He fought. He needed help so, so desperately...

But nobody was there.

And it killed the sapphire vixen, to know that single fact. She could've been there for him. She could've come back for him.

But she didn't. And that made all the difference.

 _Look what happened._

Those thoughts came to mind over and over again as Krystal stood in front of the doors of the sick bay's intensive care unit, peering into its lone window to catch just a glance of Fox as he received his treatment. Her Fox. Her hero.

If it were up to her, she would be by his bedside in an instant, never leaving him ever again like the most lovesick puppy in the world. There wouldn't be a single doubt in her mind that that would occur, despite it being against her as well as everyone else's better judgement. The ICU was kept to be sterile, and she nor anybody else on the ship would be allowed in there during surgery. She knew. Peppy knew. Slippy and Falco knew.

But none of that mattered to her.

She knew that she couldn't be with him... to comfort him like she should've done earlier. Like she should've done so, so long ago. Not yet. But at least she could have the next best thing.

And so, the vixen's lone figure continued to linger in front of the sick bay's single window, her eyes never ceasing take their gaze away from the vulpine's figure as he lay dormant. It was the only thing she had, for now.

All Krystal could was stare at him in silence as she let the flood of memories surge within her mind.

That muscular, athletic build of his as they held each other's embrace.

The roughness of his paw pads as he took her hands in his.

That forehead that she had loved to kiss as they drifted off to sleep on those cold, restless nights.

That coy, confident smile that he used to show her, in a time long past.

There was no doubt about it. She missed him. She missed everything about him. But over the course of these past few years, seeing Peppy and Falco and Slippy and now Fox... it was the hardest for the vixen to discover that everything had changed, even though she hated to admit it. After she saw the state that her Fox was in... there was no telling whether or not he would be the same ever again.

Never again would she receive the warmth of his embrace, or the touch of his coarse paws, or the feel of the white fur on his head. Never again would she get to see his smile… that smile which would only reveal itself in his most vulnerable moments. That smile which she had grown to love.

She would never get to experience any of it ever again.

Because of _her._

 _Just look at what happened_

Despite her efforts, it seemed that his wounds were far more severe than she had hoped. He was already weak enough to begin with, and he still lost a sizable amount of blood. It was hard to ignore that he was still dying, and that he was still suffering in the worst of ways.

She continued to set her gaze upon his body. Amidst the gunshot wound, she could see it all… she could see the hopelessness and depression that he felt during his time alone. He lost weight. His fur was dirtier than ever before. His eyes conveyed his experience of many a sleepless night alone.

The vixen could hear him now. She could hear his voice chime in her head, as if he were standing right next to her, whispering into her ear.

 _ **What's the point? What's the point of going on like this?**_

She didn't know how to answer that question. She didn't know how it felt…to feel so lost and abandoned by your only friends, that death would be the only way out. Her hope was that she would never come to know that feeling.

But at least she could stay here and help him overcome it. It was the least she could do, after everything that's happened.

He saved her. He loved her. He suffered for her.

He sacrificed his own happiness for her well-being, because even if he was killed, at least he could die knowing that she was safe and sound from harm. Until she threw it all back into his face.

Krystal knew that she had fulfilled Peppy's request. She was free to leave now, to leave him, to leave her teammates, to leave her past behind without a single moment's notice. It would be so easy. But something, a sinking feeling in her gut, just wouldn't let that happen.

Maybe it was her time to finally repay the favor… and maybe things would never be the same again. But she wanted her past back… she wanted all of it. She wanted her teammates, the only friends and family that she had left in this lonely world. And she wanted him back.

She wanted her Fox back, most of all.

Why? Because she loved her life back then… and she hated her life the way it is now.

After everything that's happened, it didn't matter whether or not things would never be the same again. That wouldn't stop her from trying to make it that way.

 _I won't let you down Fox. Not again._

000

"Where are we going?"

Fox's lone voice echoed, nowhere to go but through his companion's ears at this point, but his father paid no attention as the two continued trekking on.

"And where the hell are we?"

From that, James paused in his movement and gave his son a glare, stopping the former right in his tracks before he finally chimed in.

"You know your mother wouldn't want you to use language like that."

Fox almost laughed at how comical the situation was. It was something that he would only ever see on the mind numbing broadcast of cable television, but in the end he could only sigh. "I'm thirty years old now Dad."

His father replied. "That's all the more reason to stop, son," before they continued on with their excursion, smiles forming on each of their muzzles, unbeknownst to the other.

Fox missed these conversations that he had with his father. Even if he felt that he was being lectured, there was something different about this than that of those by that gruff old hare. Sometimes he felt that Peppy could have a hidden drawstring located somewhere on his body, given that their arguments always sounded the same… something about a barrel roll, and something about being more like his father.

But not this though.

Fox's grin grew wider and wider as time went on, but he could see the same effect showing through his father's demeanor. They each wanted this, both of them could tell, for the longest time.

Now they finally had it within their reach.

And so, the two moved on, father and son, side by side as they opened up each other's hearts to what each had yearned and missed for so long. They grinned. They laughed. They took each other's words in those conversations to heart, when they asked about the 'what's and 'why's and 'how's each of them had experienced in life.

"Why did you go to Venom?"

"What was your reason for going to the Academy?"

"When did you know that you wanted to create Star Fox?"

"What was your life like, before you started piloting?"

"What made you want to become a mercenary?"

Both ways, each of them exchanged questions at a rapid rate, hoping to gain an answer as to confirm each other's suspicions. Now that Fox was older and wiser, there was much that he could learn about his father, and thus about himself through these intimate conversations.

Not that it really mattered, of course, but it was definitely something that piqued the former's interest.

Over the course of the journey, they talked so much that Fox couldn't even begin to realize what was happening around him. Slowly the nothingness vanished… replaced by trees and grass and bushes. The tainted greyness of the sky slowly merged with the navy blue of a Cornerian afternoon, before it became a gradation of color. Sunlight slowly came into play, little by little of it began reflecting off of James' vintage aviator sunglasses, but still he couldn't hope to perceive what was happening around him.

But his cluelessness wouldn't last for long.

 _This neighborhood… those trees... I've seen this before._

Eventually, the vulpine couldn't help but notice… that they were standing in front of somewhere that he had held very dear.

His old house on Corneria City.

His mother's car was sitting in the driveway… the same as it's always been. And as the vulpine accompanied his father inside the house, he also noticed the frames and family photos that were kept on various counters and shelves. They too were the same.

The architecture. The same. The furniture. Same. All the various appliances and items around the house… he remembered them as the same from his childhood.

 _So that means…_

He wouldn't get to finish that thought before his ear twitched, hearing the hushed tones of two familiar voices as they emanated from the kitchen… but he couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

"I have a surprise for you…"

He heard that whisper… he knew that was his father's tone of voice. And from that statement alone, he knew that something was up. Fox could feel it.

The vulpine ambled on towards the kitchen, padding silently throughout the house in determination to discern more about what was happening. From the hallway, he slowly rounded the corner to the kitchen in curiosity.

"What's going o-." He stopped in silence.

As he came face to face with his own mother.

For a long time the two stared at each other, seeing the striking resemblances that appeared within their own features, but neither one of them could utter a single syllable… all the while James McCloud stood idly by with a smirk on his muzzle.

 _She's so beautiful._

That was all he could think as he continued to stare.

The slenderness of her muzzle. The vibrant emerald green of her irises. The deep shade of red in her fur. He could see it all, upon hearing her name which so gently rolled off the tongue… a name that he could rarely hear from his father once she had passed. Her name was Vixy.

He had only one photo of her in his possession but he remembered everything about it… refusing to part without it, refusing to let go of the past he had so cherished. He knew her. He knew her from every dot to detail in her appearance… that there was no doubt that this was his mother despite his foggy memories.

And now, here she was, standing in front of him with a look of concern.

Seconds passed, then minutes. The tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Fox thought that his muteness would've lasted for all eternity were it up to him to stop it… but luckily, his mother turned towards the older vulpine before she promptly broke the silence.

"James," she said, as her son stood there, dumbfounded. "Is he…?"

"Yep," his father replied, already knowing beforehand what she would ask.

That response was all she needed. She turned back towards her son, showing her fangs with a bright smile on her face before she wrapped her arms around his frame.

"Welcome home, Fox!" she exclaimed. "I've missed you!"

Still stuck in shock, the vulpine stared blankly ahead as his mother embraced him, with no choice but to meet her loving hold with his own. With tears in his eyes, he rested his muzzle on her shoulders before he slowly wrapped his arms around her delicate frame.

It had been so long… so long since he had felt this feeling. So long that he couldn't even begin to comprehend how much he had missed his own mother. For the first time in a while… he felt that he had belonged.

This was where he had truly belonged.

000

"Where am I, Mom?" the vulpine whispered. "Am I… am I dead?"

It was such an honest question, that his parents took a second glance at each other before struggling to come up with an answer.

"It's complicated, son," his father answered. "But no, you're not dead."

"Then… then are you real?" he retorted.

"Well… I'm not sure how to answer that either." James replied with a smirk on his face. "I'm sorry I can't answer that for you either."

"But we're here to talk some sense into you."

"I don't understand." Fox's voice trailed off.

Vixy frowned, then sighed as she turned to look out a nearby window.

"You've been struggling, Fox," her tone full of concern for her son as she explained further. "You've been hurting yourself."

Her words shocked him. The signs had been obvious, Fox had thought. He hadn't slept. He hadn't eaten anything. He couldn't hide it from himself, so how he hide it from his own mother?

The vulpine was so detached from reality that up until now, his pain and suffering seemed to fade out of existence. Now, in one explosive thought, it all came rushing back to him. He remembered all of it.

How he sought vengeance for his parents.

How he expected to die in combat after living without meaning.

How he abandoned the only one he'd ever loved, his only saving grace, the only one who gave him a will to live.

How he went back to Sauria to experience his last moments in this living hell, only to see her again at the last second.

It was all for her. Everything he did… it was for her.

 _Krystal_.

Fox sunk his head in shame as he remembered every last detail.

How could he not struggle? Up until this point in time, never had he felt so hopeless in life, that the only option he had left was to remove himself from existence. Those feelings of self-rejection were slowly coming back to him in waves at a time. In waves… he remembered them more clearly now.

His shock at his loss of her. His denial that he was doing anything wrong. His false hope, that he could ever force a façade of confidence upon himself to get her back. His self-rejection after he couldn't.

And finally… his acceptance on what he would do afterwards.

 _Kill myself._

That was the only solution.

" **It's not your fault** ," his mother said, turning to face him and bringing him back to reality.

His ears twitched at her voice as he slowly met her gaze.

"What did you say?" he asked, his voice incredulous at her response.

"I said…" Vixy repeated, her voice confident and stoic. "What you did to Krystal… it's not your fault."

"Of course it's my fault!" he shot back, his tone full of self-deprecation. "I hurt her! I ruined her life! I saved her from death… only to realize that I took away the only thing that she had left in this world."

His outburst had frightened his mother, but he had to continue.

"Everything I've thought about… everything I've done for her turned out to hurt her! I wish… that she had never even met somebody like me!"

"Look at what she did to you. After you pushed her away… look at how she treated you!" she shot back, in her own fierce tone.

"Because I deserved it! Look at what I did!" He clenched his fists as tears began to form within his eyes.

"No, Fox." She whispered, causing him to fixate on her eyes. "Nobody deserves that kind of hurt."

He bowed his head, trying to think of something to say, but he couldn't manage to utter a single syllable before she spoke.

"She used you, Fox. She joined Star Wolf out of spite for you. So she could show you how much she hated you."

Vixy shook her head slowly.

"All you wanted to do was protect her… but she threw it all back into your face despite how much you cared for her. You spent years caring for her. Loving her. Cherishing her. You're right about everything that you've done to her. But just _look_ what happened."

Vixy made sure to stare into her son's eyes before she ended her lecture.

"She tried to ruin your life."

Silence filled the air.

"Why are you telling me this?" he whimpered.

"Because I'm your mother."

She cupped his cheek with her hand, continuing to stare deeply into his eyes. With her spare hand, she wiped away any stray tears on his muzzle before she whispered to him. "I love you Fox. You'll always be my baby boy to me."

Everything he did these past few years, came back to haunt him at this exact moment. All of the guilt he experienced as a result of his actions, all of the suffering he endured at Krystal's hand, all of the negligence he directed towards himself… he recollected all of it. And because of it…

Never had he felt so ashamed in his entire life. Never had he felt so ashamed, that for the first time after meeting his parents again, he would have to explain everything to them. His shortcomings and his faults… his ignorance in being abused… it was all there.

"Mom… I'm sorry," he sobbed, breaking down and letting his emotions out right in front of her.

He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up so badly that there was no point in apologizing.

" **But it's okay, Fox,"** his mother murmured, pulling him into another embrace and rubbing his back gently.

"We all make mistakes, and we worry," she said. "It's what it means to be alive," she said, with a smile.

"How... how do you know all this?" Fox asked carefully, with his tears still streaming down his face.

"Because, Fox, we can see everything from here. And we just couldn't stand to see you like this." James responded with a smile while he was sitting on a nearby counter.

Fox sat down on a kitchen chair and buried his face in his palms with a slap.

"She said… she said that I was worse than Andross." He looked up at his parents with remorse. "I wanted to die because of that," he muttered, looking away in sadness.

Vixy and James placed their arms around each other while they smiled at him.

"You've done nothing wrong."

"These things happen."

"Everybody makes mistakes."

His parents encouraged him. They were proud of him, and they loved him. They've given him everything that he had ever wanted.

Never was he so proud of his parents.

And for a while, it was silent within the McCloud family household while Fox had deliberated quietly on everything his mother had said to him, but ultimately the younger vulpine's father had to break the peace and quiet. "Well… Fox, we don't have much time left at all. We have to go."

"What-" he said, turning quickly around, but what he saw in their places was nothing less than shocking. They were nowhere to be seen.

His world started disappearing around him. His perspective changed. The room blurred.

He was spinning now… spinning until he couldn't see anything anymore.

 _I'm so glad we've gotten to have this conversation with you, Fox._

That was his mother.

 _You look more like me every day, son. Trust your instincts._

That was his father.

 _We're so proud of you Fox._

 _We love you, Fox._

"But, I just finally found you! I...I don't want to leave!" he screamed.

 _Don't worry… we'll see each other again someday._

After that everything went black.

000

He could only hear himself now. In this nothingness, he could only hear his own voice.

His mother's was gone. His father's was gone.

In this darkness, he could only utter one word as he came back to life, his world ruined by the one he once loved.

 _Krystal._

 _Krystal._

 _Krystal._

"Krystal."

He was wide awake now… sitting up straight in a gurney. He knew he was in the sick bay. He knew she was here, waiting for him all this time.

He could feel her presence, and he didn't even need to bother glancing across the room to address her.

Could she feel his emotions at this point? Could she feel how much pain and suffering he felt, to be waking up like this, losing what he had wanted for the past twenty years?

Could she feel his animosity towards her?

"Fox-." That was all Krystal said as she rushed into the room, but she was cut off before she could say another word.

"Why?" he muttered, that single syllable instilling nothing but dread into the vixen's heart with its spine-chilling tone.

 _Why didn't you leave me?_

Sorry about the long wait before the update. The holidays have a way of getting in the way.

Leave a review if you can please.


	11. Confession

**Why?**

It always came back to this. After all the time she spent thinking, after all the time she had to deliberate while Fox was unconscious… the vixen still didn't know how to answer that question.

Why did she end up saving his life? Why didn't she just leave him to die? This was what he wanted all along, so why?

 _Why?_

The answer was so obvious to her. It was because she missed him. She missed being around him. She missed everything about him, from his facial features to his sweet, caring personality. She missed those good old days where she used to be part of the team, where she was always close to him, that she couldn't deny it any longer.

She couldn't stand being without him. He was her Fox.

 _You never know how much you miss someone until they're gone._

And at this moment, it was Fox that was staring at her with those sick eyes, completely devoid of the compassion and kindness that she remembered… those eyes that made her draw back in fear as they said to her:

 _Can you feel my pain?_

 _Can you feel how I've suffered?_

 _Can you feel it? My animosity?_

She loved him. She knew it. She just had to keep repeating it for herself. She would do anything for him, and with that in mind, she had to come clean to him, no matter the cost. And so she did, locking to his gaze with her hopeful amethyst eyes, praying… just praying that he would understand where she was coming from. Finally she spoke, her voice confident and firm yet warm at the same time as she sought to convince him that she missed their past together. That they were meant to be for each other.

"I saved you… because I love you."

It was no lie. She wanted him to know. This was her last chance… her final opportunity to make things better again.

She didn't know what kind of response to expect, but she could see the vulpine from the very corner of her eye... and what she saw was nothing less than frightening. Not a second of silence could pass before he dug his claws into his bed sheets, tearing into the fabric as the grimace on his face deepened into a growl.

Krystal could never have expected what he would say.

"That's bullshit!" he exploded from across the room, shocking the vixen speechless as his eyes flared up in hatred and anger.

"Everything you've done to me at this point… all of the pain I've ever suffered at your hand… you liar!" he snarled, bowing his head and pointing to the darkened mass of fur and stitches on his chest. "Look at what you've done to me! Do you think this suffering was because of your love?"

She wouldn't even get a chance to answer before he sought to continue his verbal abuse.

"If this was, I want you to take it back!"

"I-"

"Do you think this is funny?"

"Fox-"

"Is this a game to you?"

 _No! I don't think of you like that!_

That was the last straw, before the vixen shot back with her own frustration.

"You think you're so special? You think that you're the only one that's experienced this kind of pain?" she growled through her teeth. "After I lost my planet, the entirety of my people, my family... you have the nerve to say something like that? I trusted you! I gave you my heart... and you threw me away like I was some stray dog!"

That seemed to shut him up… and yet, Fox spent no time in forming his retort, before he spat back with twice the amount of hate.

"You think it was easy to distance myself from you… that it was easy to do what I thought was right?" he muttered, the volume of his voice increasing with each syllable.

"There's a small difference between me and you," he spoke, his tone of voice now calm yet full of contempt.

"All I've ever wanted was to protect you, because I loved you. I loved you so much. I pushed you away from me to try to keep you safe at the expense of my own happiness…"

The vulpine met the vixen's gaze again as he shot her a glare of pure bitterness.

"And you treated me like shit for it!"

His frustration, his anger... it all manifested through the very words he uttered from his mouth, in wave after wave after wave. There was no choice for Krystal but to listen to what he had to say as he channeled his hatred towards her very being.

Krystal was stunned into silence. She'd never seen this side of Fox before. She didn't know how to take it. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. Tears welled up in her eyes as the vulpine continued to remind her of what she already knew with his hateful, gut-wrenching words.

 _This was your fault._

 _You caused him to suffer._

 _Because of you..._

 _He wanted to DIE!_

"I wish you had never even met me," he mumbled. "That's what I used to say. I thought you were too perfect, that I could never deserve somebody like you. But now, I can say it again."

The room was dead quiet. Time was at a standstill. She already knew what he was going to say... but that didn't make his words hurt any less. Her heart broke right then and there... shattered into so many pieces, that there was no point in trying to salvage the situation.

For her, there was no hope at all.

" **I wish you had never even met me!"**

The vulpine's yell echoed off the walls before the room ended up teeming with silence. All Krystal could hear now was the sound of her own sniffling and whimpers… because there was nothing left to say at this point. It was over. They were finished. Their time together in this life was no more, and there was nothing she could do about it, no matter how much she begged and pleaded. She had always been skeptical at which one of them had suffered more, but it was obvious to her now.

She knew just how he felt.

Fox. He sacrificed everything for her. His time, his happiness, and his _life._ He would have gladly died for her.

That's more than she could've said for herself.

She hated it. She hated this feeling... that she would never see him again, that she would never be that happy again. This was her last hope, and she failed. She failed so miserably.

There was no one she could have blamed but herself.

"You're right," she conceded, trying not to choke up as she continued her words. "You're absolutely right."

"Everything you've said about me was right. I manipulated you. I treated you like you were nothing… like you were worthless. I wanted you to feel the pain that you've caused me. I was jealous... and ignorant... and frustrated. And I wanted to hurt you as bad as you hurt me. I know that I went too far."

She didn't know how to stop her tirade at this point. All she wanted was for Fox to listen to her as she mumbled on and on and on, her sobs and hiccups mixing in with each syllable. Because at least that was better than nothing. Soon she wouldn't be able to see him at all.

"And I don't blame you at all for what you've said!" she spat. "Even now, you're right for saying that!"

"I wish you had never met me! If I were you, I wish I wouldn't have met me either! Dying in that crystal so long ago would've been preferable to the pain that you've experienced. And even then, I still can't even begin to comprehend what I've done to you."'

The sapphire vixen dropped to her knees now, bowing her head as she let her tears drip on the cold, hardened ground. For a time, her gaze remained locked on the floor. She couldn't bear to even look in his direction at this point as she began to face the ultimate truth. Finally, she spoke again as her voice trembled and shook, hoping that some semblance of reason could reach his heart.

"I don't deserve you Fox. I know that now. I could tell as soon as I read your letter."

 _After that, please forget me. Find someone else who can love you the way you used to love me._ _  
_

"Even at the very end, you continued to love me in spite of my hate. Even at the very end, you hoped that I would come back."

"It was because of me that you wanted to die."

"And I'm sorry for that."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry Fox."

"I'll say it again, over and over again, but it'll never be enough," she choked. "But I want to try! Because I wasn't lying when I said that I loved you."

The vixen wiped away what tears she had left with her left paw before she stood, slowly turning away with regret as the vulpine watched her go. And for just a short second, she paused. She only had one more thing on her mind... one more thing to say before she left his life forever.

"I love you Fox. Thank you... for everything."

 _You'll always be in my heart. Even if I'm not in yours._

She'd expected him to stay silent, unfazed by the lack of eloquence in her soliloquy to him. But as she turned back to meet his gaze one last time... her entire body stiffened in shock at the sight.

Never could she be more wrong in her life.

000

When she turned back to face him, all she could see was his pair of vibrant, emerald eyes as they met with the vixen's own.

Fox knew why she was shocked. The vulpine's softened expression gave it away. Through all of her rambles... through all of her heartfelt words that signified her guilt and regret at what she had done, Fox knew that he couldn't stay angry forever, his eyes watering now as he was moved by her honest apology.

It was Krystal, after all.

He was still bitter though. Bitter at the world. Bitter at himself. It was infuriating to think that this could all have been prevented had he opened his mind and heart to her, but that was in the past... and the past didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore to him, except Krystal. Now, she was just trying to fix it, after she messed up.

Krystal... his sweet vixen. His blue angel.

He'd walked up to her, padding quietly across the floor while she was crying, completely unbeknownst to her senses. His whole body ached. A sharp pain flared up in his chest at every step, but he refused to gasp or even wince.

Not if it was for her.

He didn't know why he said those things.

But in the heat of the moment, he didn't know what else to think. The world had been a blur to him, his head aching as he struggled to remember what had happened. He remembered his nostalgia... his elation at seeing his parents again. He had missed them for so long... that it only made their sudden leave of absence that much more heartbreaking.

He was abandoned. He was alone again. But this time, he felt more than just frustrated… more than just depressed or miserable. The vulpine was infuriated. And because of that...

He took it out on Krystal. He could never have expected what she would do.

She apologized. She was sorry for what she did. Even back on Sauria, he could see the terror in her eyes as he faded away from life... a fear that she would lose him.

 _She cares about me._

 _ **Because I wasn't lying when I said that I loved you.**_ _  
_

That was all he remembered. That was all he could remember as he lost himself in her eyes, the vulpine at a loss for words now as he struggled to say something... but he didn't know what to say. Instead, he just wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into an embrace with what strength that he had left, much to Krystal's amazement. But her amazement wasn't fueled by his insistence on meeting her face to face. No. But she could see now.

She could see through his facade as the sparkle of a single tear glinted in her peripheral vision. And once that first tear broke free from his watery eyes, the vulpine couldn't hold back as he held the vixen in his clutches, sobbing quietly enough so that the vixen couldn't hear, but she could feel the deep vibrations emanating from his chest.

He hated it. He hated living like this. He wanted everything to be the way it used to be... back when his teammates were here... back when his parents were here...

Back when his vixen was here.

He was crying. He'd been through so much. He needed help. But now he didn't have to hide it... and he wanted her so desperately to know.

"I'm sorry," he whimpered. "I'm so sor-" **  
**

**"Don't say that."**

She said the words so abruptly, stopping the vulpine right in his tracks before burying her forehead right in his chest, her arms clutching his waist more firmly than ever.

"It was my fault."

"You were just doing what you thought was right."

"I was the one who messed everything up."

"Because of me... you were hurting inside."

"Because of me... you wanted to die."

"So please..." she sniffled, revealing to him her own tearful eyes before finishing her thoughts. "Don't say that..."

"Don't ever say that again."

The words just seemed to roll off her tongue before it all went quiet again, their silhouettes still intertwined as they lay enveloped within each other's arms, the quietness of the sick bay lending its aid to their intimacy. It had been four years since he'd had this again. Four years since it had all gone to shit... and he couldn't believe everything that he'd gone through.

 _I never meant it to be this way._

 _I never wanted to hurt you._

 _I just wanted to be happy again..._

 _And I almost missed out on this._

He couldn't help wonder what life had in store for them after this... but that thought was for another time. Right now, he just wanted to live in this moment, hoping that it would last forever... hoping that they would never let go of each other. This was where they belonged.

Slowly, their legs began to give. He was injured. She'd been waiting endlessly, tirelessly for his recovery. Together, they slid to the cold, hard ground in exhaustion, but neither one of them would break the embrace. They refused, because it was times like these where they felt truly alive. It was just as she said. They had each been through so much, and they knew each other far better than anyone else. How could they live without each other?

They fought. They harmed. They suffered. And now, the vulpine pressed his forehead to hers while he stared into her soul with an intense, smoldering gleam of his radiant eyes before he addressed her name.

"Krystal," he marveled, maintaining his eye contact with those sparkling amethyst orbs for eyes. A thought emerged.

 _ **I forgive you.**_

A few moments passed in silence as the two stared at each other in awe, until finally, the vixen shut her eyes. From then on, a sob. And then another. The walls that held her strong, unwavering spirit finally broke down before she began to weep, a torrent of tears beginning to drench the vulpine's shirt as he held her in silence, rubbing her back with love. She pressed her muzzle against his chest as her life crumbled right in her fingertips, her heart feeling hollower than ever before.

She didn't deserve this. The vixen knew that much. She opened her eyes again, allowing the floodgate of tears to open, to drip down the side of her face before they fully soaked into the fur of her cheeks. She refused to look away, even as she trembled... even as she heaved. She knew she would never let go of him ever again, not even if her life depended on it. He was her Fox, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Smiles emerged amidst their tears... amidst their sadness... because it was times like these where they felt truly alive.

Because he couldn't live without her.

Because she couldn't live without him.

And that was all the reason that they needed.

 _ **I love you Fox. Thank you... for everything.**_

000

I made sure to work faster after the holidays!

Please leave a review if you can!


	12. Imperfect

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness was all that the vixen wanted.

It was a way to show her love for the one who truly cared about her. A second chance to prove to him what she was truly about.

 _ **I forgive you.**_

Now, she finally had it. This was her time. Her time to focus on rebuilding what she had with the vulpine so, so long ago. Because she cared about him. Because she couldn't live without him.

Because she loved him

She didn't know how long they were in each other's embrace. She wanted to be with him… savoring what she missed this entire time.

Breathing in his scent, feeling the warming feel of his touch… Krystal couldn't even begin to describe the stupor she felt when she was with him. After they finally revealed their apologies, their true feelings for each other, she just wanted a few seconds more… a few moments longer with her Fox.

The one who couldn't bear to hate her.

The one who saved her.

Truly, this was their time to rebuild, to restore their love for each other. She would say whatever could come to mind to bring him peace starting now… and this was only the beginning of what she had in mind.

She was cut short.

"What the _hell_ are you two doing?!"

The wall of silence was broken. The cocky avian's yell managed to break through the peace and solitude that Fox and Krystal so desired, a look of disbelief on his face, eyes cold and unblinking as he stared at the tattered couple… a dirty, exhausted vixen with a bloody, battered vulpine.

Slowly their gazes shifted to that of Falco's, but not a moment's notice could pass before they reverted back, much to his annoyance.

She wanted to see the vibrancy again, the compassion and kindness that she had remembered long ago, as it returned bit by bit into the vulpine's eyes. And he wanted to see the vixen's hopes and dreams, that confident, optimistic look she gave off once upon a time that inspired him to become better… for himself, for his team.

For her.

But sadly, they both knew that their time together would come to an end… for now.

That was one week ago.

It wasn't long after his argument with Krystal that the vulpine was discharged from the sick bay, so it was clear that this was the time to heal. The vixen wanted him to reconvene with the team, to reveal every single ounce of his emotional vulnerability that he had to spare. Peppy, Slippy, even Falco… they all wanted to see him, because it was time to make things right for him… for everyone involved.

Together they all waited outside the hulking metal doors of the sick bay, the atmosphere full of tension so thick that it could be cut with a knife. Together they waited in silence and loneliness, all staring at the room's entrance as they awaited their former friend, or what had become of him.

And slowly, the door opened, releasing a torrent of the sterile air that was sealed within the facilities before the object of their interests appeared.

There was Fox McCloud. There was Fox, with his dirty, unkempt fur and the sick grimace on his face as he inched slowly past his former teammates without a single syllable being uttered from his maw. He couldn't even go so far as to face his family… why that is the vixen would never know.

Slippy… his childhood best friend.

Peppy… his mentor and father.

And Falco… his most trusted companion in battle.

One by one the vulpine made his way past his former family, not letting a single sniff or sigh sound off in amidst their presence.

 _Why is he like this?_

 _What happened to him?_

 _This isn't the Fox that I used to know._

The thoughts from vixen's teammates echoed within her head at this point, but she couldn't pay any attention to them in the meantime… not when her Fox was in so much pain. He tried to mask his emotions with same old stoic expression as before… that apathetic appearance that just seemed to scream:

 _I'm fine. Leave me alone._

But Krystal knew. She knew that he needed help.

Time slowed as the vulpine seemed to inch his way slowly past the vixen's frame. She was sure that she would've been ignored like the others, but much to her surprise, the vulpine hesitated in front of her, his head bowed slightly towards the ground before he looked to the side and shot her a glance with his emerald eyes.

Those warm, compassionate eyes that told her all that she needed to know as they spoke to her…

 _Let's talk later, okay?_

Her maw was faintly ajar at what he had just done, but she could only nod at his small gesture while he continued on, off towards the end of the hallway, the only sounds in the vicinity being the clacks of his boots as they collided with the metallic floor.

Soon enough, the sounds trailed off before it was completely silent yet again. He was gone. Nobody knew what to do. Nobody knew what to say. They were all too stunned by his reaction.

He was supposed to open up, to let his family help him through the darkest times in his entire life. Instead, he ignored them.

Instead, he locked himself in his room.

But the sapphire vixen knew that something was coming.

Something good.

000

For three days and three nights the vulpine spent his time alone, restless and starved like he had treated himself the past four years.

He wouldn't rest until he had thought things through. And so he spent his hours in the dark, staring through the glittering blackness that was space.

Deliberating. Contemplating.

He knew what he had seen while he was unconscious. The vulpine couldn't stop thinking about it, his father's quirky personality and charm… his mother's caring embrace and warming affection… they were all tucked away at the back of his mind.

And it was because that one experience, that he kept thinking about it that he had to ask himself just one question:

 _Is this life worth it?_

He was left alone.

He grew up alone.

And for a time, he fought side by side with people he thought could be called family.

Now he was alone again. Now, he needed to think.

His teammates, however, were becoming increasingly anxious.

Throughout the hours of the day and night, his former teammates could be bothered to reason with him through a locked door. Slippy tried to get him to eat his cooking, to talk about how much he missed his best friend. Peppy would show up sporadically to do the same and offer a few words of wisdom. Even Falco tried his best: using vulgar and offensive language to rile the vulpine up, creating heated situations and engagements as he had done in the past, so so long ago.

All of them were met with silence.

Krystal knew better than to attempt to talk to him. For a short glimpse during their impassioned exchange, the vixen saw exactly what he had gone through.

Guilt and regret. Frustration. Hopelessness. Self-deprecation.

Abandonment.

Those feelings were all still there as the vulpine buried his face in his paws. It would be wrong for anyone to assume that he would be okay after a short stay in the sick bay.

He still hated himself. And Fox knew that Krystal knew.

It was because of this that he wouldn't leave. He wouldn't know how to explain his situation to anyone… never mind his teammates. He felt remorseful and embarrassed for putting them through this. That he doubted them to actually care about him. That he could have possibly assumed that he was worthless and insignificant.

For the first time in his life, the once calm and calculated leader of the Star Fox team didn't have a plan, despite how miserable and hopeless he felt.

For the first time in his life, he realized that he needed help. He was just too afraid to admit it.

That's why he could only have imagined the awe on his face when he heard her presence enter his mind.

 _ **Fox? Are you okay?**_

He didn't know whether or not he should respond, but the answer seemed obvious no matter how he looked at it.

She saved him once. And then she saved him again. Now, he needed her more than ever.

 _Krystal._

His light. His love.

All it took was one question from the vixen to help him answer his question.

 _Is this life worth it?_

One question… from his Krystal.

 _ **Fox? Are you okay?**_

It was right there and then that he had a moment of clarity, lifting his head away from the palms of his hands before staring in awe into the blackness that was the empty void of space. Except this time, he focused on the stars.

Those stars that shined given the emptiness in which they lingered. Those stars that gave him hope.

" _ **Because I wasn't lying when I said I loved you."**_

She made this life worth living. She was his reason to live. She was the only one who understood him… even more than he understood himself.

Fox didn't know how long he took before he gave her an answer. It could have been seconds or minutes… maybe even an hour, but he knew what he wanted to say. He knew what he wanted in this life.

He wanted her back. He wanted his vixen back, more than anything.

 _ **Krystal.**_

Because she saved him.

 _ **Could you come to my room please?**_

Because he loved her.

000

When she finally heard him answer back, the vixen let out a sigh of relief.

She was concerned about him, worried about his well-being. She was desperate to talk to him, to know that he was safe and sound within the confines of even his own living space.

Now they would finally be able to talk.

With that in mind, Krystal spent no time in entering his room by placing her paw on the palm scanner, prompting the vulpine's door to edge aside before she quickly stepped in. And yet, much to the vixen's amazement, the darkness enveloped her body as soon the door shut behind her.

For three whole days, the vulpine lived in these conditions.

For three whole days, the vulpine hadn't eaten. For three whole days the bed was unkempt, and the room was black as night. She could barely see, but as her eyes adjusted, she could make out a silhouette lingering in front of the room's lone window, the faint glimmer of the stars providing enough light to create a vulpine shaped shadow.

At first, she hesitated. But then she spoke.

"Fox?"

The vixen whispered his name so delicately in this deafening silence, the sound of her heartbeat growing louder and louder now until it began to ring in her ears.

It was like before. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. All she could do was watch in anticipation as the vulpine reacted to her presence.

Slowly he turned around, standing in place before he lifted his head. The starlight from the window gently conveyed the side of his face, allowing her to see the faint glimmer in his eyes.

And for a time, they were frozen in place. Neither of the two said a single word as they met each other's gaze, the hurt in his eyes still very apparent to the sapphire vixen at this point… but there was something different about them this time.

 _Something… hopeful._

She opened her jaw. She was determined to say something, anything to break the silence, but she was too late. The vulpine beat her to it.

"I'm sorry," he said, the vulpine turning fully towards her now. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, Krystal could see the abuse that he was putting on his body.

"Fox…" she murmured, her tone of voice as apologetic and concerned than ever. "Why? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I'm sorry, I just…" his voice trailed off. The vixen waited patiently for his response, a puzzled expression on her muzzle as she wondered what he was thinking.

"I just want to forget everything that ever happened."

His statement was bold, but his posture was not. The vulpine took his gaze away from hers and looked down at the ground.

He remembered the hurt. He remembered her pain. He was eager to erase it all, given the chance.

"Everything I did that hurt you… everything I did which made you feel unloved and unwanted…" he mumbled softly. "I want to forget all of it… because it hurts just thinking about it."

That cruel, contemptuous tirade she gave him back then after the Anglar War.

That terror-struck expression she showed him after he had shot himself.

The spine-chilling tone of what he had said to her not three full days ago.

 _ **I wish you had never even met me!**_

They both knew the pain. They both suffered through it. And yet, he lifted his head and met her gaze again, staring deeply into her amethyst eyes before he questioned her just one more time.

"Krystal… do you think that we could start over?"

The vulpine waited patiently for her answer. It was clear to her what he wanted. He wanted it to be like before, like it way it used to be. He wanted to move past all this, and pretend it never existed. He wanted to run away.

But this was wrong. He was wrong.

All she had to do was let him know.

" **No."**

000

The word flew out of her mouth so swiftly that the tension began to overtake them, the two now staring blankly at each other hoping, just hoping that the other would understand.

But she knew that he wouldn't, so she would have to make herself clear.

"No, Fox," she repeated. "I don't want to start over."

At first, the sapphire vixen didn't know what he thought of her answer, but she quickly realized that the vulpine's puzzled expression and the frown on his face gave it away. He couldn't have possibly hoped to understand, his tail now drooping in despondence as he wondered why she would say such a thing.

"But why?" he spoke.

 _Why?_

 _Do you not remember how we've suffered?_

 _Do you not remember the pain we've felt?_

 _Why wouldn't you want to forget?_

 _Why?_

And yet, that 'why' was obvious to the vixen.

"Everything that we did to hurt each other can't be forgotten," she murmured, a slight frown on her muzzle as she walked up to the window, staring into space. She let herself bask in the starlight before taking the vulpine's rough, battered paw in her own, rubbing it gently and lightly with her free hand. "I wanted you. I cared deeply about you. After you hurt me… I was frustrated. I was jealous. I was ignorant."

"And because of that, I forgot what I wanted most in life," she mumbled. She looked up at the vulpine while the starlight illuminated her face, the traces of a sad smile now apparent within her muzzle.

"It was you," she whispered, rendering him speechless.

"After you were gone… I felt hopeless. I felt like I had no will to live. And..." She hesitated, clearly in doubt and uncertainty after reminiscing what happened, before continuing on with her words. "And... after I found out that you self-harmed because of me... after I found out that you loved me… I knew that I missed you."

Gently, the vixen cupped her paw around the vulpine's cheek, pulling him closer and closer until their foreheads touched, gazing deeply into the green of his irises and making sure that he saw nothing but the deep indigo of her own.

"It was you, Fox McCloud," she whispered with such intensity, the tone of her own voice burning with nothing but warmth and passion for him. "It was _you_ that kept me going. It was _you_ that gave me hope when I was desperate. It was _you_ that saved me," she sniffled, the tears beginning to let loose out of her eyes the more she explained to him.

"I would always think of pain and sadness when I remember the past. But now, we're stronger because of this. If we can overcome this, if we can move past this together… then we can move past anything."

She said that with such confidence, a lone tear streaming down the side of her face as it glimmered in the starlight, before pulling her Fox into an embrace, making sure never to let go as she snuggled further into his chest and savoring his scent.

"That's why I don't want to forget… that's why I can't forget. Because it reminded me, Fox. After all this, you reminded me…"

" _ **That I love you."**_

Her voice slowly trailed off until it was silent again.

 _Krystal._

 _Krystal._

 _Krystal._

"Oh, Krystal…" he whimpered.

 _How could I ever deserve her?_

"Krystal…" he repeated, struggling to keep his composure. "You-"

He wouldn't get to finish that before the vixen's free paw made its way to the back of the vulpine's head and grabbed a pawful of his head fur. Slowly, gently, she pulled him into a deep kiss, both their eyes closed now as they savored the moment, hoping that it would last forever.

At last, Krystal pulled away, her eyes open and heart fluttering at what she had done, but she felt nothing but pride. She couldn't have been any more proud to be his vixen.

"That's what I think of you Fox," she said. "I'll never leave you. I'll never let you go... because you _saved_ me!"

Fox understood now. He understood what she meant. It couldn't have been any clearer at this point, the vulpine beginning to lose all control as he began to sob.

Through all the good times and the bad, it didn't matter how much he struggled. As long as he had her by his side, there would be no question as to whether or not he could get through this... and he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Krystal," he said, his voice quivering with emotion as the vixen continued to stare into his soul with unblinking eyes.

 _She cared for me._

 _She loved me._

 _She saved me._

"I swear that I couldn't love you more than I can right now," he whispered, his voice trembling in every single syllable. "Yet, I know I will tomorrow."

 **"Because you're everything to me."**

The vulpine's words rolled right off his tongue as the two foxes burst into tears, struggling to keep calm in a time like this. They kept the embrace, holding each other as if they would never let go, deep in the pitch black darkness that was Fox's room. Krystal laid her head onto Fox's shoulder, feeling the deep tremors that emanated from his chest as it rocked her core. Fox did the same while rubbing her back so warmly, making sure to savor the sweet scent that he had missed for so long.

For four years, she was gone.

For four years, he had suffered.

But at long last, he finally had her back... and it almost made those four years worth it just for this. For the first time in a while, Fox felt hopeful about the future. He no longer saw the bleak reality that was his world, but instead what he saw in her was the rest of his life.

A life full of happiness. A life full of comfort and repose.

It was all because his Krystal was at his side. And as he held her within his arms, he couldn't help but think about what life had in store for him. He couldn't help but wonder...

 _ **I saw that you were perfect, and I loved you. Yet, I saw that you were not perfect, and I loved you even more.**_

000

Hi everyone, leave a review if you can please.


	13. Too Late

_Peppy... Slippy... Falco..._

"I..."

The vulpine stammered, bowing his head and struggling to figure out what to say before his voice trailed off into silence.

His heart pounded.

His ears rang.

His mind blanked out.

A dangerous combination. And it was that combination that made him sick to his stomach as he came face to face with his former teammates.

He swallowed a gulp, his body beginning to break down from exhaustion after the continued abuse.

He wanted to say sorry. He knew that he wanted to, that he had to.

 _I just don't know how._

The vulpine lifted his head, meeting their gazes. He saw those looks of worry and concern. Those looks that made him feel ashamed.

Ashamed to have put them through all of this.

Ashamed to have hurt them.

Ashamed to call himself a friend.

And it was this feeling of shame and regret that he continued to stare blankly off into the distance, reeling from the contempt that he had towards himself. That is, until he chanced a gaze at the vixen by his side.

Krystal was beaming... a look of confidence and optimism had replaced those earlier forms of heartache and grief, as evident from the smile on her muzzle. That smile that said to him...

 _It's okay Fox. They'll understand._

He wanted more than anything to run... farther and farther away in sheer embarrassment until nobody could find him.

But he wanted to be better than that. Better for himself. Better for his friends.

Better for that blue angel that stood by his side.

 _ **It's okay Fox.**_

And so, he turned back towards his friends, his eyes stuck with traces of fear and shame, but at least there was something else... a glimmer of hope as he prepared himself to speak. It was finally time, he thought. He knew it better than anyone at this point. It was time to repair these wounds that have festered for far, far too long. The vulpine glanced to his left, then to his right, struggling in vain to look away as the worried gazes of his friends occupied his view.

Slippy could only look on, the webs of his hand glued to his mouth as he looked as anxious as ever. Peppy was the same, albeit more stoic and hopeful than the former. Even the cocky falcon had a calmer composure, the sternness of his usual appearance softened by recent events… and Fox saw their faces, those looks that gave off an air of worry, those looks that could only express their disappointment.

Those looks that could only say to him...

 _How? How could this happen?_

It was a question that he couldn't answer, no matter how much he wanted to. It didn't matter though. In the end, they all knew as much as he did that it would ultimately be the vulpine's decision to change... and he needed it now more than ever.

 _But how could I?_

Doubt began to set in, taking root within his mind. For the past few years he doubted himself, always running away and assuming the worst whenever he had the chance. He thought that Krystal had abandoned him, that his friends had abandoned him. But he was wrong.

And he knew that he was in the wrong. And he knew that he would have to apologize for it. He didn't know how, but he would just have to set his mind to it. He would just have to take a leap of faith.

Fox bowed his head. He wasn't alone now. He wasn't in danger anymore. But he was still afraid.

And even then… he spoke.

"Guys..." he murmured, his voice filled to the brim with remorse and guilt. He hung his head low while his tail drooped in shame, refusing to let them see the tears that began to cloud his view.

"I'm so sorry."

He had whispered that quietly... so quietly that the silence and puzzled looks that he was met with could only tell him one thing, that the others couldn't hear him. So, he said it again.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated, his voice a little louder now, tears beginning to slide down his cheeks as he clenched his fists in frustration. The vulpine knew what they were thinking. Falco, Slippy, Peppy, and Krystal...

They were all hurt. They were saddened. They were angry and confused and frustrated and fearful, but most of all...

They must have felt as ashamed as he was.

He didn't think that they could give any less of a shit about him, way back when, but he was wrong. And he was so, so glad to be wrong. But now he needed to let them know how he felt about this. He needed to tell them again and again and again to get through just how much he appreciated them, and even then, he wanted to continue to tell them.

"I'm so sorry."

Louder.

"I'm so sorry."

Louder!

"I'm so sorry!"

The vulpine was yelling now, his voice filled to the brim with emotion as he squeezed his eyes shut, struggling to prevent his perpetual flow of teardrops from escaping their prisons, but there was only so much he could do to prevent the rush of memories from flooding back within his mind.

 _ **Thanks Fox! I thought they had me!**_

 _Slippy... you've always had my back all these years._

 _ **You're becoming more like your father.**_

 _Peppy, you were always my father to me._

 _ **Oh gee! I've been saved by Fox, how swell!**_

 _Falco, even you came back for me..._

 _ **A mission together at last.**_

 _And Krystal... how could I?_

Fox began to clutch his fists so tightly that his claws began to sink deep into his own flesh. The pain hurt, but it was nothing compared to what he was feeling in his head. Everything he went through, everything that he had done to them... it was all his own fault. He realized that now. He could only assume that he wasn't needed...that he wasn't wanted. And because of that...

He shook his head in dejection as he maintained his fixation on the floor. He threw them away. Just like he threw Krystal away, so so long ago.

 _How could I have done this? How could I have done this to my family?_

The vulpine grit his teeth. His claws began to pierce the skin. His team was still awaiting his response, albeit as hopeful and patient as ever. But the clock was ticking.

They needed an answer. And they needed it soon.

 _How do I show them that I'm sorry? How do I show them?_

His heart pounded.

 _How?_

His hands trembled.

 _How?_

He couldn't breathe.

 _HOW?_

He could only think of one way.

 **"I'm so** _ **fucking**_ **sorry!"**

The vulpine howled as he revealed his tearful demeanor, the tod's arms falling to his sides, his eyes squeezing shut once more as he shied away from the glares of their eyes.

He could see it now. It was all quiet. He was being judged. He was being hated.

He felt so desperate, so hopeless at this exact moment, that he had to continue to speak in order to avoid the deafening silence that only told him one thing, and one thing only.

He would be abandoned once again.

"I never wanted this to happen," Fox sobbed. "I never-"

That was all he could muster before the old hare rushed forward, the vulpine widening his eyes and dropping his jaw straight to the ground, if only for a split second, in shock at the strongest embrace that he had ever felt.

He couldn't have expected this.

He didn't want this. He didn't deserve this. He thought they couldn't care less about him, that they might have even hated him. But Fox could only furrow his eyebrows and grimace as he began to let loose the torrent that were his tears, with nothing left to do but to drape his arms around the hare and rest his muzzle on his shoulder in return.

He knew it now. He couldn't have been more wrong in his life.

Hesitatingly, the vulpine scanned around the room, his eyes seeing nothing but the teary expressions of his friends before he shut them once more.

Peppy, his second father, who threw away his work responsibilities for the vulpine's wellbeing.

Slippy, his childhood friend who was always there for him.

Falco, his wayward but devoted companion who always managed to show up when he was needed.

And Krystal... his Krystal. His vixen. His soulmate.

He could see the tears escape gently out of the alluring turquoise of her eyes. But she was still smiling... smiling with that beautiful smirk on her face which he loved so much... that smirk that continued to speak to him, even now as he shut his eyes. That smirk that said to him those exact words...

 _I love you Fox, and I'll love you no matter what._

His teammates, his friends, his family... they were all here for him and willing to stick by him. They _cared_ about him. He knew that now. And he couldn't have felt prouder at this exact moment than anything else. Not when he defeated Andross. Not when he defended Corneria from Aparoids. Not even when he saved an entire planet.

And it was all because of them.

"I'm so glad you're alive..." Peppy sputtered. "I'm so glad..." His voice trailed off as the hare buried his face into the vulpine's shirt, soaking it as much as the latter had soaked the fur on the hare's shoulder.

"Peppy..." Fox spoke softly, trying to mask the emotion in his voice. "I... I didn't know what I was doing. It was all my fault." The vulpine could only stare at the ground from Peppy's back, tearing up again in remembrance of his own actions.

"I just wanted to see Mom and Dad again," he whispered, his voice withering away. "It was all my fault."

 _They're waiting for me up there, wherever they are._

The vulpine hopelessly grit his teeth.

 _But even then, there's no excuse for what I did. Even then..._

"It'll be okay Fox. Everything will be okay. We're all here for you," Peppy said, loosening his embrace on Fox and meeting his gaze, like only a father would. "We'll always be here." he said, causing the vulpine to raise his head.

"Really?" he asked in awe.

"Of course," the hare sniffled. "You're a son to me."

"And Slippy... Falco... you too?" Fox whispered, attempting to address the other members of the team.

"Yeah Fox! We'll _always_ be here for you!" the toad grinned. "Just because I have a family now doesn't mean that you're not part of it!"

Slippy guffawed with a high-pitched voice the only way that he could, causing the bird to facepalm.

Falco sighed and shook his head. "You're so cheesy, you know that?" he grumbled, causing Slippy to snicker at his comment, but Fox could only stay silent as he continued to meet the avian's gaze.

"Yeah yeah yeah yeah, we get it, now quit looking at me like that, will ya?" Falco muttered, turning away while rubbing his right eye. "Apology accepted buddy."

Finally, the vulpine let go of his mentor, giving the hare a sad smile before turning away.

"And Krystal?" he said.

"Yes, Fox?" she replied with a warm, sultry voice.

"I'm sorry, again."

The vulpine gave her a silly look, staring at the vixen with those reddened, soulful eyes, that dumb toothy grin which she hadn't seen since so, so long ago. She wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry, but she knew she had missed them.

She had missed them more than anything.

"You never listen, do you?" the vixen feigned in annoyance, prompting the vulpine to chuckle before wrapping his arms around her slender frame. She could only stare at him with a coy smile, using her right paw to wipe away a tear of his, before she gladly shifted her arms again to return the favor, pulling him into a deep embrace.

"Thank you for saving me," he whispered tenderly into her year.

Without missing a beat, she gave a single retort.

"It wasn't just me," she said before turning turning her head and motioning behind her.

From the corner of Fox's eye could he see the warm smiles from his companions. Peppy was smiling, and so was Slippy. Even Falco, with his arms crossed, had a slight smirk upon his face from behind his back all the way across the room… but the vulpine could see through his ruse.

And Fox couldn't help but laugh, causing his onlookers to grin at his sudden demeanor. If only they knew, he thought.

If only they knew how happy he was.

If only they knew how long it had been, since he was this happy.

And so, he broke away from Krystal, but not before giving her a short peck on the cheek before pulling his arms away. She could only smile as she prepared for what her Fox was about to say.

"Everyone." he pronounced to them, flashing the white of his canines across the widest smile they've seen in a long time.

"My friends," he said.

"My _family_."

Fox took a second, a single moment, to gaze at Krystal's amethyst eyes with those glimmering emerald irises of his, before turning back to the rest of the crew.

"Thank you." he expressed.

" **For everything."**

* * *

Hi everyone. I've been away for a while. I don't really want to get into it, but I've been going through some issues lately... and I apologize for that. I hope you'll enjoy what I've written.

Leave a review if you can, please.


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